I'll start by saying that I am asking this hypothetically and not with regard to my current situation. I am a male, 27, in a committed relationship and I am studying Psychology with a specialization in Sex Therapy. I am open-minded sexually, but I am having difficulty defining my position on this and I'd like some opinions. As such, I'll give you my initial opinion from previous experiences and the caveats that further consideration has uncovered.
In the past, I have never dated a woman that already owned her own sex toy. These were ladies in the 18- 23 yr old range, so nothing huge there. When I broached the subject with one girl, she liked the idea and I agreed to spare her the embarrassment of entering the store and purchased one for her. It went over great and we enjoyed using it as a supplement to our sex life, which was already great and this only made it better. She could already orgasm 4-5 times from manual stimulation or penetration and was happy to oblige, as she showed equal enthusiasm for my pleasure.
Fast-forward five years and now, having given this more in-depth thought, I've taken to reading various columns and advice sites, trolling for women's opinions on vibrator use. What I have found has been a little deflating and I'll list here a concise collection of these thoughts.
1. Orgasms brought on with the use of a vibrator are more intense than those gleaned from partner sex, whether penetration (no surprise here), manual, or oral stimulation.
2. That men should generally accept the introduction of a vibrator into the bedroom or risk being accused of having an easily bruised ego. (One "sex therapist" on youtube liked vibrators to women's version of porn)
3. That women are increasingly coming to believe that they cannot be fully satisfied without the use of a vibrator.
That pretty much sums up what these women had to say about vibrators in the bedroom, but my question to you is whether or not these are legitimate positions to take.
I feel like, if a vibrator is akin to porn, would it not be the same if a man, being a more visually stimulated creature, asked to plaster pictures of his favorite porn stars around the room so that he could be better stimulated, would women find that insulting or something they felt they had to compete with?
Also, a vibrator is a machine, that does something that NO MAN can do, for an indefinite period of time (or 'till the battery runs out) If empowered females will argue that society holding women to an increasingly unachievable standard of beauty is objectifying women and indisputably wrong at it's core, then wouldn't bringing a vibe to bed objectify men and hold them to an unachievable standard?
Let me finish by saying this:
I empathize with women, who for centuries have been forced to forego pursuit of their sexual identities and pleasure at the hands of an oppressive patriarchy. BUT, and this is where i think modern feminism misses the point, we aren't ALL chauvinist pigs. Even throughout history, there have always been men who were attentive, giving lovers who worshiped female beauty and sexuality and I am one of those today. I empathize with the women who feel they have to compete with the media and male-centric pornography's portrayal of women, but again, we are not all a bunch of pigs seeking a submissive house-maid with a size zero waist and with no concern for our lovely woman's sexual pleasure, so why would a woman ever want to force a man to compete with or accept along side him, a machine that objectifies his place in the bedroom?
In the past, I have never dated a woman that already owned her own sex toy. These were ladies in the 18- 23 yr old range, so nothing huge there. When I broached the subject with one girl, she liked the idea and I agreed to spare her the embarrassment of entering the store and purchased one for her. It went over great and we enjoyed using it as a supplement to our sex life, which was already great and this only made it better. She could already orgasm 4-5 times from manual stimulation or penetration and was happy to oblige, as she showed equal enthusiasm for my pleasure.
Fast-forward five years and now, having given this more in-depth thought, I've taken to reading various columns and advice sites, trolling for women's opinions on vibrator use. What I have found has been a little deflating and I'll list here a concise collection of these thoughts.
1. Orgasms brought on with the use of a vibrator are more intense than those gleaned from partner sex, whether penetration (no surprise here), manual, or oral stimulation.
2. That men should generally accept the introduction of a vibrator into the bedroom or risk being accused of having an easily bruised ego. (One "sex therapist" on youtube liked vibrators to women's version of porn)
3. That women are increasingly coming to believe that they cannot be fully satisfied without the use of a vibrator.
That pretty much sums up what these women had to say about vibrators in the bedroom, but my question to you is whether or not these are legitimate positions to take.
I feel like, if a vibrator is akin to porn, would it not be the same if a man, being a more visually stimulated creature, asked to plaster pictures of his favorite porn stars around the room so that he could be better stimulated, would women find that insulting or something they felt they had to compete with?
Also, a vibrator is a machine, that does something that NO MAN can do, for an indefinite period of time (or 'till the battery runs out) If empowered females will argue that society holding women to an increasingly unachievable standard of beauty is objectifying women and indisputably wrong at it's core, then wouldn't bringing a vibe to bed objectify men and hold them to an unachievable standard?
Let me finish by saying this:
I empathize with women, who for centuries have been forced to forego pursuit of their sexual identities and pleasure at the hands of an oppressive patriarchy. BUT, and this is where i think modern feminism misses the point, we aren't ALL chauvinist pigs. Even throughout history, there have always been men who were attentive, giving lovers who worshiped female beauty and sexuality and I am one of those today. I empathize with the women who feel they have to compete with the media and male-centric pornography's portrayal of women, but again, we are not all a bunch of pigs seeking a submissive house-maid with a size zero waist and with no concern for our lovely woman's sexual pleasure, so why would a woman ever want to force a man to compete with or accept along side him, a machine that objectifies his place in the bedroom?