M
maylene1852
Guest
is it detailed enough? does it flow? any comments advice would be greatly appreciated thanks. please dont be mean on grammar this was just something i wrote like 10 minutes ago that im thinking could be the start of a novel.....
Adalie woke to the sound of rain dripping into metal buckets. The roof of her house had many missing shingles and when it rained it often leaked. It didn’t help that her house was on the edge of a rather dismal lake, which seemed to make it rain more there than anywhere else. She was toasty under her heavy quilt even though her nose was cold and she wished she could sleep just a little longer. Sighing, she kicked off her covers and ran to empty the buckets. There were chores to be done, and on top of that she didn’t want her bedroom to flood and give her more work to do. She pulled on her heavy galoshes, threw on her raincoat and went to milk Nanny. It was cold outside and windy. The fog rolling around the lake enveloped her house and it was hard to see. Adalie ran into the lean-to and slammed the door.
“We really should make an entrance from the house,” thought Adalie as she grabbed a handful of alfalfa. “M-e-e-e-h,” Adalie bleated. The snowy white goat trotted to her outstretched palm and started crunching. Adalie pulled up her stool and bucket and milked her. Then she raked the floor and added clean wheat straw. She checked the chicken coop for eggs and found 3 which she promptly stuck into her pockets. She patted the goat, picked up the milk bucket and headed back to the house.
“How many eggs did you get?” asked her father as she came into the house.
“Three, one for each of us,” she replied. Her father was a tall man. He had a stern face and a gruff voice but he treated her very kindly. Her mother had died when she was born, and it always made her feel guilty. Her sister, Kader had already done her part of the chores as well. The floors were swept, the stove blazing hot and already heating up water for the midday stew, the coffee already brewed. Now she took the eggs away from Adalie and proceeded to cook them. Kader scrambled them up with the rich goats milk and added cheese and chunks of onion and peppers. She divided it among the 3 of them giving father the bigger portion. Along with the eggs they each had a hunk of bread, that although a little stale was just fine toasted a bit and dunked in the dark sweet coffee.
Adalie woke to the sound of rain dripping into metal buckets. The roof of her house had many missing shingles and when it rained it often leaked. It didn’t help that her house was on the edge of a rather dismal lake, which seemed to make it rain more there than anywhere else. She was toasty under her heavy quilt even though her nose was cold and she wished she could sleep just a little longer. Sighing, she kicked off her covers and ran to empty the buckets. There were chores to be done, and on top of that she didn’t want her bedroom to flood and give her more work to do. She pulled on her heavy galoshes, threw on her raincoat and went to milk Nanny. It was cold outside and windy. The fog rolling around the lake enveloped her house and it was hard to see. Adalie ran into the lean-to and slammed the door.
“We really should make an entrance from the house,” thought Adalie as she grabbed a handful of alfalfa. “M-e-e-e-h,” Adalie bleated. The snowy white goat trotted to her outstretched palm and started crunching. Adalie pulled up her stool and bucket and milked her. Then she raked the floor and added clean wheat straw. She checked the chicken coop for eggs and found 3 which she promptly stuck into her pockets. She patted the goat, picked up the milk bucket and headed back to the house.
“How many eggs did you get?” asked her father as she came into the house.
“Three, one for each of us,” she replied. Her father was a tall man. He had a stern face and a gruff voice but he treated her very kindly. Her mother had died when she was born, and it always made her feel guilty. Her sister, Kader had already done her part of the chores as well. The floors were swept, the stove blazing hot and already heating up water for the midday stew, the coffee already brewed. Now she took the eggs away from Adalie and proceeded to cook them. Kader scrambled them up with the rich goats milk and added cheese and chunks of onion and peppers. She divided it among the 3 of them giving father the bigger portion. Along with the eggs they each had a hunk of bread, that although a little stale was just fine toasted a bit and dunked in the dark sweet coffee.