Is my poetry good so far?

[PapaJohn]

I dont have a name for it yet, I just finished writing it. So for now Im calling it, "My Eyes". Most likley the cheesy name will change later on.

..
I see life through a different perspective,
where the world is hectic,
and God cant correct it,
it seems every being percieves who they are,
perhaps thats the reason why demons are hard to tell apart,
I'v seen many wicked things in my life span,
experienced both dreams & nightmares through my brain
not yet to comprehend what evil has to bring,
its a shame...,
I cant change time,
but depict reality,
and view what life has in store for me,
learning from my lessons & asking questions,
is why I remained patient as an adolesence,
life is no trip or game,
all though I played cards here and there,
I always folded my hand,
always checked my mistakes,
afraid of what the outcome might reflect,
I take nothing as a professional but as an ameature,
cuz i can always learn more,
I may be addicted to computers,
but thats a different story,
how the human mind has an unlimited storage,
its capacity outlast my most decent fantasies,
to contain wisdom & freedom of speech,
is to complex to keep a mystery,
through my eyes...

 

[Thomas R]

You have a talent for writing and getting your feelings and emotions across to the reader. What i would say to keep in mind for your nxt poem is create it with an internal rhythm this will help the reader keep reading thus taken more notice of what your saying. Your a good writer keep writing