My friend said my poems rubbish.. im a little upset cos I put loads into it... please read it n tell me what you think.. please bare in mind i am only fifteen
Your coat of armour buries the heart,
that I so want to know,
Your sword and shield battle my dream,
Making me your foe.
But no man or bull or stallion,
Could chase me far enough,
So that I should give up my life,
And part from you my love.
And past the tip that tops your sword,
And the skin which I respect,
Are bandaged up emotions,
Which you seem to neglect.
And your feelings for me, good or bad,
Of that, I’m unaware,
But leave your post and show me your wounds,
For which I dearly care.
And when we meet and share our plans,
Your worries they shall flee,
And when we touch, and we hold hands,
We’ll be one forceful unity.
So I surrender to you my soldier,
Your heart so broken and brave,
I give you everything I have,
And I’ll stay with you ‘till grave.
Your coat of armour buries the heart,
that I so want to know,
Your sword and shield battle my dream,
Making me your foe.
But no man or bull or stallion,
Could chase me far enough,
So that I should give up my life,
And part from you my love.
And past the tip that tops your sword,
And the skin which I respect,
Are bandaged up emotions,
Which you seem to neglect.
And your feelings for me, good or bad,
Of that, I’m unaware,
But leave your post and show me your wounds,
For which I dearly care.
And when we meet and share our plans,
Your worries they shall flee,
And when we touch, and we hold hands,
We’ll be one forceful unity.
So I surrender to you my soldier,
Your heart so broken and brave,
I give you everything I have,
And I’ll stay with you ‘till grave.