I miss a lot of things about my eating disorder. I miss having a wider gap between my legs, and everything about my body (even though I still despised it then). I also miss what happened while I was going through it, I used to get blackouts and other things, which to me showed that everything was working. I just wanted to get so skinny that I was finally tiny and so that my parents would at last really love me. However, everyone guessed about my eating disorder except for my parents. If I just hadn't recovered I would weigh so little, I was on my way, I weighed what I hadn't weighed since middle school and then the weight came on (I wasn't even eating and it piled on).
I lost my period and it has been gone for about a year. At first I was scared that it was gone, but when I realized it wasn't coming back I saw that this was like still getting to have a part of the eating disorder. Do you think that's weird? I feel so stupid about it.
I feel pathetic. because I can't let go of the eating disorder. It's been ages and I still obsess over it (I return at times, but I feel like I should have it out of my head by now). Does it ever truly go away for anyone (where you don't think about it constantly and where you can actually forgive yourself for getting better)?
I'm sorry this is in this section, but with the period part I wasn't sure where else to post it. I hope no one minds, I'm so sorry if I'm wrong.
Thank you!
I lost my period and it has been gone for about a year. At first I was scared that it was gone, but when I realized it wasn't coming back I saw that this was like still getting to have a part of the eating disorder. Do you think that's weird? I feel so stupid about it.
I feel pathetic. because I can't let go of the eating disorder. It's been ages and I still obsess over it (I return at times, but I feel like I should have it out of my head by now). Does it ever truly go away for anyone (where you don't think about it constantly and where you can actually forgive yourself for getting better)?
I'm sorry this is in this section, but with the period part I wasn't sure where else to post it. I hope no one minds, I'm so sorry if I'm wrong.
Thank you!