Is it right to talk about marital problems with a 3rd person, without first discussing

  • Thread starter Thread starter Didum
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Didum

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it with your spouse? My husband suddenly told me after 2+ years of being married and 7+ years being together, that the past year hes been totally unhappy with me...specifically my anger.He told me that after he had to move out with a job.He said he realised it only after moving away from me, because he felt he could breathe.I am wondering why he couldnt tell me anything when he was with me?He first discussed it with his friends(who I do not know) (and 1 a bachelor, nd 1 married for 3 months)and they suggested to see a counceller or get a baby!!I feel ashamed that he had to do it this way, when all he had to do was talk to me about it.He's aslo said he wont ever come back to me if I dont get over my anger...so Im see a psyc now...but what hurt me most was that he couldnt talk to me about it, but first go and talk to unknown people...who will sometime later make a laughing stock out of it.Am I going crazy here thinking all this? Did he go about this the right way? Would you involve a 3rd person in this?
 
maybe he did try to speak with you and you were not listening.. I don't think this just happend all of the sudden. sounds like you pushed him away with how you treated him.. get the couceling now for YOU so that the next time you are in a realationship you can do better.
 
while i wouldnt talk to someone else about my problems, sometimes men do
 
I think it is neither right or wrong...

...depending on who you are talking with about these problems....

....In stead of talking about the problems, why not try working towards solving them?
 
I believe that comunication is the key to everything. He should of definately communicated with you first. Usually when they start telling other people thier business like that ,I believe they have something else on thier mind and want to feel clear minded. Meaning, they don't want to feel quilty of what they are doing or planning to do so they either make things up or start something and feel comfortable talking to people who don't know the both of you so that they will only know "his" side of the story and he then won't feel quilty. If your so called "anger" bothered him sooo much, especially within years, I believe he would've already said something to you. You shoul really think this over. You should know his ways by now and should know if there is something fishy going on. If he is saying you need counseling then, I think it would work better if both of you seek counseling. This will work better. It did for my husband and I. I hope this helps
 
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