T
the_closer11
Guest
I posted a similar question today, but the responses were geared towards the method of birthcontrol and not about is it right to change birthcontrol without discussing it with your husband..
My wife has been on Depo for years. It has worked for us with no problems or side effects. In fact, she even had a regular cycle while on Depo; which is extremely rare!
Yesterday she tells me that she got an IUD. I was upset that she would unilaterally make that decision without talking to me first. I'm okay with the IUD, in fact I prefer it...because she can't remember to take the pill regularly...or even show up for her Depo shot once every 3 months. Several times a year there is a lapse in birth control because she just decided to not go to her doctors appointment. Her exact words "I just didn't want to go". So the IUD is a logical option; however when I have suggested it in the past it she was adamant about not having a foreign object inside her. It wasn't even debateable.
The fact that she changed to an IUD is something that I support, however I believe birth control is a joint decision & repsonsiblity. I feel that it should have been discussed if she was considering changing. She's invited me to her OB/GYN appointments in the past.
I didn't express my displeasure, because the bigger issue of not bringing another life into this world that we can't afford has been addressed. However, the way she handled it makes me feel like a boyfriend and not a husband.
I've heard opinions that feel that it's her body & her decision. And I have no right to be upset. However, I am responsible for any child produced in this family...therefore I feel that it is adult to discuss these things and agree upon what's best for the family. That's the difference between a family and boyfriend/girlfriends, in my opinion.
Opinions Please?
Additional Facts:
We did originally discuss and agree upon a method of birthcontrol after the birth of our last child.
Neither of us want more kids right now, but we both are open to the possibility of one more should finances permit in the far future (3-6 years). So, a vasectomy or tubal ligation are not options.
She does not believe in abortion...does not want to use condoms...and doesn't like the pull out method.
I have abstained from having sex with her when there were lapses in birth control, and she was extremely upset about it. She feels that I am punishing her, when I feel that I'm being responsible.
I really appreciate Tainted Heart's response. Although I don't agree with her, it does address the issue that I'm facing.
And as an FYI...if my wife had it her way we would be having sex nightly without a condom or birthcontrol.
The responses that have said "Her body, her choice" have ignored the fact that she refuses to use condoms. I can't force myself in her with a condom on, no matter how much I want...IT'S HER BODY, HER CHOICE.
The only options I have as a man are condoms, vasectomy, and abstinence.
I chose abstinence. Why is it that I'm getting negative responses because that was my decision rather than risking another child?
My wife has been on Depo for years. It has worked for us with no problems or side effects. In fact, she even had a regular cycle while on Depo; which is extremely rare!
Yesterday she tells me that she got an IUD. I was upset that she would unilaterally make that decision without talking to me first. I'm okay with the IUD, in fact I prefer it...because she can't remember to take the pill regularly...or even show up for her Depo shot once every 3 months. Several times a year there is a lapse in birth control because she just decided to not go to her doctors appointment. Her exact words "I just didn't want to go". So the IUD is a logical option; however when I have suggested it in the past it she was adamant about not having a foreign object inside her. It wasn't even debateable.
The fact that she changed to an IUD is something that I support, however I believe birth control is a joint decision & repsonsiblity. I feel that it should have been discussed if she was considering changing. She's invited me to her OB/GYN appointments in the past.
I didn't express my displeasure, because the bigger issue of not bringing another life into this world that we can't afford has been addressed. However, the way she handled it makes me feel like a boyfriend and not a husband.
I've heard opinions that feel that it's her body & her decision. And I have no right to be upset. However, I am responsible for any child produced in this family...therefore I feel that it is adult to discuss these things and agree upon what's best for the family. That's the difference between a family and boyfriend/girlfriends, in my opinion.
Opinions Please?
Additional Facts:
We did originally discuss and agree upon a method of birthcontrol after the birth of our last child.
Neither of us want more kids right now, but we both are open to the possibility of one more should finances permit in the far future (3-6 years). So, a vasectomy or tubal ligation are not options.
She does not believe in abortion...does not want to use condoms...and doesn't like the pull out method.
I have abstained from having sex with her when there were lapses in birth control, and she was extremely upset about it. She feels that I am punishing her, when I feel that I'm being responsible.
I really appreciate Tainted Heart's response. Although I don't agree with her, it does address the issue that I'm facing.
And as an FYI...if my wife had it her way we would be having sex nightly without a condom or birthcontrol.
The responses that have said "Her body, her choice" have ignored the fact that she refuses to use condoms. I can't force myself in her with a condom on, no matter how much I want...IT'S HER BODY, HER CHOICE.
The only options I have as a man are condoms, vasectomy, and abstinence.
I chose abstinence. Why is it that I'm getting negative responses because that was my decision rather than risking another child?