Is it normal that my boyfriend trawls through girls photos on facebook?

P

Princess989

New member
Take a break, why do u even let him injure your esteem like that? Say you ignore this and take a big step like marriage or become pregnant, and he cheats on you, you will curse yourself for not brekaing upw ith him right this minute. I have a boyfriend too, and have had several who I've found as sleazy as yours, and broke up with immediately. And get rid of sex with him immediately, do you have any idea how many STDs he may be carrying. It's not normal for a guy who has a girlfriend to go through girl's photos, it's totally wrong and he is probably cheating on you.
I think you should think carefully about this, and break up with him immedatiely, his reaction should immedately tell you if you made the right decision.
Don't ruin your life in dreams
xxx
 
My boyfriend of almost 3 years looks through girls photos on facebook pretty much on a daily basis. Most of them are people he is friends with and he will literally sit there and go through numerous girls photos, sometimes only stopping and moving onto the next girls photos after viewing 300+ pictures. Pretty much all of them are girls I don't know, some are in his immediate friendship group and some are even my friends whom he's barely even met.

I feel pretty uneasy about this, in a weird sense I'd rather he looked at porn rather than girls who are 'real' that he actually knows. Im just wondering is this normal? Is it acceptable given that we are in a relationship? And should I be concerned?

Personally I find this really sleazy of him to do and it makes me think less of him. Almost a year ago now I also found out he looks at porn, until then I'd thought he was one of those rare decent men who respected that he was now in a relationship. We've had lots of problems regarding this, I'll admit now I don't have the best self confidence, and even after I explained how it made me feel and that I believed it is damaging out relationship he still refuses to stop looking at it. As a result our sex life has become pretty much non existant as I feel crappier and crappier about myself each time I find a damp tissue by the computer. These days I feel totally unsexy and unattractive and on the rare occasion we do have sex and he pretty much pays my body no attention, he just jumps on and uses me as something to deposit his load in and then rolls over to sleep.

The odd thing is sex aside he is still attentive towards me and seems to still like me, we live together and everything else is fine, he just doesn't seem to want me and apparently prefers other women. Im worried that our relationship has become a friendship. I used to try so hard to keep things going and even now I try to initiate sex but he just turns me down. I'd say we'd do it on average twice a month. pretty pathetic huh. All in all I feel pretty shit.

Any help or advice would mean the world to me right now.

Thankyou
 
Boy oh boy do I hear everything you're saying. I went through the EXACT same thing about 3 years into my relationship with my boyfriend. I don't have a lot of self-confidence at ALL anyways, so when I found out he was looking at porn as well as photos of girls we went to school with, it made me feel ssooooo bad about myself! Like I wasn't good enough for him. I confronted him about it and we had several long talks. He explained that he loves me to pieces and doesn't want to be with anyone else besides me, but it's just something guys do. They're visual creatures- that's what they like, looking at women's bodies. It took me YEARS to fully accept that fact and to not correlate him looking at those pictures to the relationship we have. We have gone through several bouts of decreased sexual activity, where he'd turn me down all the time, only fooling around once or twice a month if we were lucky.

We've been together for 10 years now (we're both 27). Right now, we're in a high. Not even a year ago, we were in a low where I didn't know if I should try to stick it out anymore or not. What you have to decide is what you will tolerate and what you won't. If sex is really important to you and only doing it once or twice a month just doesn't work for you, then you need to talk to him about it (during a calm discussion, not yelling at him during a fight, which I've done DOZENS of times). If he doesn't want to work to make things better, or can't open up to you about why he's rejecting you, then it might be time to break up. But do know that pretty much every guy you date WILL look at porn, and will especially want to look at girls they know (it's more real that way I think... easier for them to fantasize about). I've got a guy I went to high school with who's engaged to be married but still sends me messages asking for naked pics of myself (and I'm not good looking either!). All you can do is express your true feelings to him and decide what you'll do based on how he reacts.

If you want to e-mail me at any time, feel free... [email protected]. I've been through EVERYTHING you're going through right now and sometimes just knowing that someone understands can help.
 
As a guy, I think it is normal to look at other women. However, generally, I think you try not to really point out that you are doing that. Like, you don't want your girlfriend knowing about your porn stash or that you're looking at other girls facebook photo albums. Like you don't want to follow a hot girl walking by when you're supposed to be having lunch with your girlfriend. It's just rude. I've never been a guy to go out looking to find porn, believe it or not, but if I'm on facebook and notice that a girl I knew from college posts pictures of her and her hot friends in 2-piece bikinis at "the lake." Well, yeah, I think it's human nature to check that out. Although I can't say I've ever looked at 300 pictures on facebook in one sitting. And finding a wet tissue by the computer with his jizz on it, that's just disgusting.

Personally, despite your claim that he is "still attentive," I'd say you are in a very unhealthy relationship. You may struggle with low self confidence issues regardless, but by blatantly masturbating while checking out other women, turning you down for sex, and only using you as a way of "depositing his load" on the rare occasion you do hook up... man, that is just so disrespectful. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. I imagine it's tough to feel like you can find someone better when you feel "totally unsexy and unattractive," but it sounds to me like A LOT of that is your BOYFRIEND'S fault. And that is AWFUL.
 
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