ok I apologise about the length, thanks to whoever does read it
This guy friend of mine (we has a bit of a fling kinda before we were friends) and well he wasn't looking for a relationship but he never really asked me what I was looking for he sort of made assumptions, (because I'm a virgin and we nearly went all the way but he didn't feel comfortable with being my first, he did ask me if I wanted him continue at one point I said I wasn't sure, so we just fooled around, but I think if I'd been more enthusiastic we would have gone all the way)
We decided to stay friends, but it wasn't working too well, there was a lot of miss communication, he was very flaky, but often turned it around and said I was being paranoid and would re-arrange things for times that suited him, instead of admitting he had been unreliable.
Just before we stopped talking he was trying to suggest I go see a doctor because he thought I was depressed, and that he had recently gone on anti-depressants that had really helped him. I told him I appreciated his advice but I didn't think it was a good choice for me.
He was always talking about other girls, ex's, and hot women in front of me too,but flirting with me also.
I decided it would be better for us to not hang out anymore because I felt rejected and I would just end up feeling more jealous and resenting him, so I messaged him on fb to tell him I didn't think we should hang because I felt like he was grossed out by me after finding out I was a virgin, and that being around him wasn't good for my confidence, I said I'd like to remain civil and talk online still etc-
He replied saying that I was the one who was acting weird, and shying away when he tried to make conversation, and said whatever i wished and that he didn't mind.
I messaged saying we could be friends in future if it was cool with him, but no reply, 3 days later, I sent him a fb message saying sorry for blaming him and that I didn't want to lose a friend
Still no reply after about 5 days so I deleted him off FB.
Hadn't heard from him at all in a month, until I saw him at work a few weeks ago (he popped in) When he walked in he didn't say anything but as he left I was talking to our mutual friend and serving a customer he just said hi and asked if I was ok.
Didn't see him again until Saturday the other week, again he just popped into work, He said hi to me again, and the Saturday after that he popped in again (he doesn't work weekends and I havent seen him pop into work before which is annoying when you re trying to avoid someone) he said hi to me this time too but in a brief manner without making eye contact or anything.
I was on a shift with him last week, and he was very quiet and polite, I noticed him looking at me a couple of times without saying anything.
And last week he kept coming over asking if I needed help at all, I saw him looking at me a couple of times, or interrupting when I was asking someone else for help and would help me himself, or if im talking to someone hes standing with he would just stare at me even if im directing my conversation to the other persom .and trying to make small talk and little jokes with me, and today, making excuses to come to my till and just say anything (example he picked up a penny somewhere and took it over to me :/ and he did the same thing when he found some tiny peice of rubbish on the floor to throw in the bin near my till its just odd) Maybe he just wants a selfish ego boost.
Though I was avoiding him/forgetting him successfully since we have occasional shifts together its making it harder to just pretend he doesn't exist.
I know he starts college soon so he'll probably be leaving work.
If he doesn't view me as more than a platonic friend because of my lack of experience I will only associate him with feeling of rejection and humiliation, if he has to be around me occasionally because of work or mutual friends.
Next time he tries to approach me in a friendly manner I'm planning on saying something along the lines of
"Hey I'm not being funny, but unless this is work related I really don't feel comfortable with friendly conversation, I find it patronising and somewhat degrading, I really would feel better without your pity"
Would this seem rude? :/
This guy friend of mine (we has a bit of a fling kinda before we were friends) and well he wasn't looking for a relationship but he never really asked me what I was looking for he sort of made assumptions, (because I'm a virgin and we nearly went all the way but he didn't feel comfortable with being my first, he did ask me if I wanted him continue at one point I said I wasn't sure, so we just fooled around, but I think if I'd been more enthusiastic we would have gone all the way)
We decided to stay friends, but it wasn't working too well, there was a lot of miss communication, he was very flaky, but often turned it around and said I was being paranoid and would re-arrange things for times that suited him, instead of admitting he had been unreliable.
Just before we stopped talking he was trying to suggest I go see a doctor because he thought I was depressed, and that he had recently gone on anti-depressants that had really helped him. I told him I appreciated his advice but I didn't think it was a good choice for me.
He was always talking about other girls, ex's, and hot women in front of me too,but flirting with me also.
I decided it would be better for us to not hang out anymore because I felt rejected and I would just end up feeling more jealous and resenting him, so I messaged him on fb to tell him I didn't think we should hang because I felt like he was grossed out by me after finding out I was a virgin, and that being around him wasn't good for my confidence, I said I'd like to remain civil and talk online still etc-
He replied saying that I was the one who was acting weird, and shying away when he tried to make conversation, and said whatever i wished and that he didn't mind.
I messaged saying we could be friends in future if it was cool with him, but no reply, 3 days later, I sent him a fb message saying sorry for blaming him and that I didn't want to lose a friend
Still no reply after about 5 days so I deleted him off FB.
Hadn't heard from him at all in a month, until I saw him at work a few weeks ago (he popped in) When he walked in he didn't say anything but as he left I was talking to our mutual friend and serving a customer he just said hi and asked if I was ok.
Didn't see him again until Saturday the other week, again he just popped into work, He said hi to me again, and the Saturday after that he popped in again (he doesn't work weekends and I havent seen him pop into work before which is annoying when you re trying to avoid someone) he said hi to me this time too but in a brief manner without making eye contact or anything.
I was on a shift with him last week, and he was very quiet and polite, I noticed him looking at me a couple of times without saying anything.
And last week he kept coming over asking if I needed help at all, I saw him looking at me a couple of times, or interrupting when I was asking someone else for help and would help me himself, or if im talking to someone hes standing with he would just stare at me even if im directing my conversation to the other persom .and trying to make small talk and little jokes with me, and today, making excuses to come to my till and just say anything (example he picked up a penny somewhere and took it over to me :/ and he did the same thing when he found some tiny peice of rubbish on the floor to throw in the bin near my till its just odd) Maybe he just wants a selfish ego boost.
Though I was avoiding him/forgetting him successfully since we have occasional shifts together its making it harder to just pretend he doesn't exist.
I know he starts college soon so he'll probably be leaving work.
If he doesn't view me as more than a platonic friend because of my lack of experience I will only associate him with feeling of rejection and humiliation, if he has to be around me occasionally because of work or mutual friends.
Next time he tries to approach me in a friendly manner I'm planning on saying something along the lines of
"Hey I'm not being funny, but unless this is work related I really don't feel comfortable with friendly conversation, I find it patronising and somewhat degrading, I really would feel better without your pity"
Would this seem rude? :/