Hey guys, so I'm a 20-yr old college kid. I would say I am attractive, I play NCAA D1 Football as a linebacker, I run marathons (~3:15), I hold a 3.9+ GPA at one of the top schools in the US with a challenging major. I am quite social; I go on lots of dates and lots of women seem attracted to me. I have only dated two women, however, and both of which were rather shy, nice, had never had a boyfriend before, and were both virgins. I really liked them a lot and I dated the first girl for about 5 months, the second for almost 4. I was very happy with both of them and liked them a lot. My first GF and I started to have sex after four months, and after that she became very needy, paranoid, and clingy. I broke up with her because of this and did not date for a year. I started dating another girl and liked her a lot as well. We started having sex after about 2-3 months and afterwards she became very selfish and wanted me to perform sexual favors for her all the time in addition to expecting a lot of devotion from me (as far as time mostly, and with football, clubs, and academics I am extremely busy) and never really reciprocated, whether sexually or not. She broke up with me because I was unable to fulfill her needs, which was fine because I had become quite fed up with her to be honest.
Mainly, my question is, despite really liking these girls and feeling a very good connection with them both, why does the sexual activity in my relationships seem to lead to conflict? I have had sex with several other women that I have gone on multiple dates with and things always remain casual and fun, even though it has never really worked it's way into a relationship. I enjoy sex much more when it is with someone I care about and don't want it to be a problem in my relationships. I recognize that, having only two basis both of whom were virgins, I could have just picked unfortunately, but I am really looking for advice on how to balance sex, romance, and friendship in a relationship.
I apologize for the soliloquy, but I wanted to provide as much detail as I could. Thank you all in advance!
I did not date both girls at the same time, just to clear that up.
Mainly, my question is, despite really liking these girls and feeling a very good connection with them both, why does the sexual activity in my relationships seem to lead to conflict? I have had sex with several other women that I have gone on multiple dates with and things always remain casual and fun, even though it has never really worked it's way into a relationship. I enjoy sex much more when it is with someone I care about and don't want it to be a problem in my relationships. I recognize that, having only two basis both of whom were virgins, I could have just picked unfortunately, but I am really looking for advice on how to balance sex, romance, and friendship in a relationship.
I apologize for the soliloquy, but I wanted to provide as much detail as I could. Thank you all in advance!
I did not date both girls at the same time, just to clear that up.