In a relationship with an Alcoholic... need help!!!

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I have been with my b/f for a year now. When he is sober he is sweet, thoughtful, smart funny. Everything I want... Lately he has been drinking alot.. binge drinking. His demenor changes so much, he starts becoming bold, saying cruel things to me. Looking for fights.. talking out loud to himself. He did it once aplogised and things were fine. Then he did it again.. and now again. I know this cycle.. my father was an alcoholic and I dated one 5 years ago. I am thinking there is a cycle here for me. And I promised I would never get involved like that again. But now feelings are invested.. like always. I do love him. And when he is sober he is a great person. He has a good job, never lets people down.. and caring. I feel bad because I should know better. After I went through what I did last time. My family was so disapoinnted in me. Cause I kept going back thinking I could help the last one. And they like the new guy alot. They have no idea he has been like this lately. And If I end things and they ask why. They will treat me like before like a child like I should know better and why do I keep choosing these guys. And lecture and look at me in a different light again. I am hurt upset and scared. I know wha I have to do. But I feel like it is happening all over again. I have told him unless he gets help. I cannot be with him. It is getting worse and worse. I am feeling drained... What can I do ???
 
Seriously? I would leave. Not tomorrow or the next day, but TODAY. They never change and you cannot help them......they need to want to help themselves and eventually, he will pull you down with him. It's NOT a life and if you get pregnant by this man, you will always have him in your life, just like my longtime friend is finding out, and wishes she would have left her husband YEARS ago.

Good luck to you.
 
Sweetheart I think you should think about joining alanon it works with women an men in your situation. It will teach you why you keep getting into relationships with alcoholics. It will also help you talk to others who are in the same situation you are in.

Best of luck.

Lori
 
I understand where you are coming from. I myself dated an addict for over 2 years and kept going back because "feelings are invested" so on and so forth. you need to just do it. rip it off like a band aid and never look back. it will be the hardest thing you will do up to that point but just imagine your future with him...bleak isn't it? Be strong and leave when you are ready...until then...hash out a plan...look for other living arrangements and make sure to ALWAYS put yourself first, even though you love him. Remeraber, he's putting the alcohol first.
best wishes,
jessica
 
He has agreed to go to AA. Or another group to help him. And also dumped all is booze down the sink. I guess that is a step forward. But now he is getting moody, maybe withdrawl?
 
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