T
torcal
Guest
I will try this again just to guage the reaction, if any. I am an alcoholic and this year marks my 25th anniversary without either taking a drink or wanting to. And I don't avoid social and other situations where liquor is consumed.
During my drinking days I drank my way through at least three jobs and more because of my habits and ended up practically broke. I had spent 25 straight academic years in preparatory education to do what I wanted in this life and tossed it all down the drain with alcohol. Sould familiar?
Two thirty day alcohol programs did't work and attending hundreRAB (if not more) AA meetings in the LA area didn't either. I never got a sponsor or did the steps. However, I did carefully read the Big Book because it is the only thing that makde sense to me. I'm some paragon.
I just kept going to meetings. I couldn't go to work one Monday after a lost week end and just sat around wishing for a 20mg Valium tablet. A friend was with me at the time. I got up out of my chair to visit the restroom. I had just zipped up my fly while exiting the restroom when I heard a very forceful man's voice next to my right ear. He said, "You'll never have to drink again - [and then very sarcastically]...unless you CHOOSE to." A warm glow started at my throat and worked it's way dowm my chest and then rested on my abdomen for what seemed an unsusually long time - then disappeared.
The whole event seemed like it happened within 30 - 60 seconRAB. My friend, who was watching me the whole time, said that she heard nothing. She said that I just exited the rest room and sat back down in my chair without stopping.
I also saw a bank of black clouRAB with a round tunnel through it and light shining on the other side. It was then that I lost lost all compulsion to drink. I didn't start to hate liquor, I just knew that I was no longer a slave to it.
Out of sheer habit I kept attending my usual meetings. I told my story several times at meetings and people were less than interested. No one looked up from staring at the floor and only one woman ever related to me a similar experience. During the coffee break at one meeting I went outside and stared at the sky. My inner voice (not the palpably audible voice I heard before) said: "I thought you were cured. What are you doing here?" Good question, I left never to return.
I have concluded that people have definite expectations about the manner in which they will be cured. They are just waiting for God to meet their conditions. It won't happen. We have to listen to our little inner voices.
The thought of attending another AA meeting bothers me. What if a newcomer asks how many years I have bee sober and I say 25? And then he asks how I did it. I didn't do a damn thing except go to mostly boring meetings. Did I get a sponsor? No. Did I work the steps? No. Did I work with other alcoholics? A few.
If there are any others out there like me who got sober while connected with AA and did'nt do a damn thing to deserve it, let's get together.
During my drinking days I drank my way through at least three jobs and more because of my habits and ended up practically broke. I had spent 25 straight academic years in preparatory education to do what I wanted in this life and tossed it all down the drain with alcohol. Sould familiar?
Two thirty day alcohol programs did't work and attending hundreRAB (if not more) AA meetings in the LA area didn't either. I never got a sponsor or did the steps. However, I did carefully read the Big Book because it is the only thing that makde sense to me. I'm some paragon.
I just kept going to meetings. I couldn't go to work one Monday after a lost week end and just sat around wishing for a 20mg Valium tablet. A friend was with me at the time. I got up out of my chair to visit the restroom. I had just zipped up my fly while exiting the restroom when I heard a very forceful man's voice next to my right ear. He said, "You'll never have to drink again - [and then very sarcastically]...unless you CHOOSE to." A warm glow started at my throat and worked it's way dowm my chest and then rested on my abdomen for what seemed an unsusually long time - then disappeared.
The whole event seemed like it happened within 30 - 60 seconRAB. My friend, who was watching me the whole time, said that she heard nothing. She said that I just exited the rest room and sat back down in my chair without stopping.
I also saw a bank of black clouRAB with a round tunnel through it and light shining on the other side. It was then that I lost lost all compulsion to drink. I didn't start to hate liquor, I just knew that I was no longer a slave to it.
Out of sheer habit I kept attending my usual meetings. I told my story several times at meetings and people were less than interested. No one looked up from staring at the floor and only one woman ever related to me a similar experience. During the coffee break at one meeting I went outside and stared at the sky. My inner voice (not the palpably audible voice I heard before) said: "I thought you were cured. What are you doing here?" Good question, I left never to return.
I have concluded that people have definite expectations about the manner in which they will be cured. They are just waiting for God to meet their conditions. It won't happen. We have to listen to our little inner voices.
The thought of attending another AA meeting bothers me. What if a newcomer asks how many years I have bee sober and I say 25? And then he asks how I did it. I didn't do a damn thing except go to mostly boring meetings. Did I get a sponsor? No. Did I work the steps? No. Did I work with other alcoholics? A few.
If there are any others out there like me who got sober while connected with AA and did'nt do a damn thing to deserve it, let's get together.