my family members feel like my worst enemy but they're my family so idk what I should feel. I honestly wish they'd f*** off but they're family........I don't know what to do. They think they know what I'm thinking or what's going on in my mind but they don't. I can't even put what I want into words I just feel very frusturated and I could hold it in but I don't want them to think it's okay because I'm happy. Like I'm freaked out they'd like smother me or something. I'm happy though just not when I communicate with them. I'm fine but they say I'm mean and sh** when I'm NOT. Like I get over stuff fast and my dad has a chip on his shoulder. I can't stand these people & they're my own family that's what bothers me most. I feel like if I just be quiet it's abuse for them to try to make me feel guilty by acting like I'm mean when I'm not for guilt. So I speak up, I throw stuff, etc. Like because I will not allow my mind to get f***ed up. And then my mom she abuses me too. Like how am I suppose to pull myself away from these people when they're my family? I'm old enough but idk why I feel stuck. Idk why I should feel/what I should feel. I just want to live my life. And it's f***ed up because they're my family. I feel like I don't really know my mom and like my dad is ignorant. Or idk I literally wish he was dead b/c of everything he's done and idk why like I just want nothing to do with them but I feel stuck
I am moved out but idk if I should just stop talking to them completely......idk I just feel SO F***ED UP (my life). or like idk I just don't want to talk to anyone but I feel idk what but I want to feel good wwwwwwwwtttttttttffffffffff like I feel like I have nothing in common with my family and I grew up mostly in the northeast so I feel very "NEUTRAL" but they think it's "mean" but it's not mean at all. Like I guess I understand but idk I feel psychologically messed up. Or idk like something is missing in my life and idk if I should feel that way.
I am moved out but idk if I should just stop talking to them completely......idk I just feel SO F***ED UP (my life). or like idk I just don't want to talk to anyone but I feel idk what but I want to feel good wwwwwwwwtttttttttffffffffff like I feel like I have nothing in common with my family and I grew up mostly in the northeast so I feel very "NEUTRAL" but they think it's "mean" but it's not mean at all. Like I guess I understand but idk I feel psychologically messed up. Or idk like something is missing in my life and idk if I should feel that way.