this is gonna be long post, and a lot of it will sound all over the place (and my english won't help much, either), so brace yerselves!
okay so i'm a teen male. i don't really find any kind of guy attractive, nor do I get turned on by most kind of guys; and i would much rather be in a relationship with a girl. however (and cue the weirdo) i don't really get turned on by any kind of straight porn. the only time i get turned on by seeing a girl, is when she's dressed...and i use my imagination to think up all the stuff i'd do to her. but porn aside, i find myself always ogling (or "checking out", if you wanna put it in a decent way) at chics, and never at guys.
what does turn me on, is shemale porn. and how does that work? well, i fancy having a "fling" with a very specific kind of guy, and i imagine myself to be doing the stuff i see in the porn on that guy. also, it's like having those kind of "gay" sexual thoughts can get me turned on waaay faster than having any kind of "straight" sexual thoughts. plus, sometimes i tend to think that....what if i was born a girl? and i end up thinking of all of the crazy stuff i'd do that people otherwise classify as "slutty, to a whole new level". and sometimes these kinda thoughts give me a quick and major erection. but then, i wonder that other than the sex, being a woman wouldnt quite be as fun. but otherwise, i find gay porn just about as unentertaining as straight porn.
now don't get me wrong here....i'm not the kind who'd wanna suppress his gay/trans side in order to look normal. i'd happily admit myself to be gay if it turns out that i truly am. however, if i am to think of myself as gay, then that'd mean i'd be giving up on having a relationship with a girl; but i can't see myself going anywhere in a relationship with a guy. i mean, in my mind, it just doesn't sound like i'd be happy with something like that. and about the trans bit, well, it feels like one of those things where i might go off doing something that might feel like the right thing to do at the moment (like getting a sex change op) but then in the long run i might end up regretting it. plus, even if i were to take a sex change op, i wouldn't be totally happy because i guess that kinda op wouldn't completely be able to turn me into a girl (which i'd want to be, rather than a guy who underwent a sex change op). sometimes i just wish there was a way i could change from being a guy to girl, and back, whenever i wanted....so i could get to try out some of my fantasies.
so....what should i think of myself to be? am i obviously gay? or is it somewhere in the gray area between being straight, and being gay? or am i a trans? or am i simply a bi-curious & impotent straight guy?
okay so i'm a teen male. i don't really find any kind of guy attractive, nor do I get turned on by most kind of guys; and i would much rather be in a relationship with a girl. however (and cue the weirdo) i don't really get turned on by any kind of straight porn. the only time i get turned on by seeing a girl, is when she's dressed...and i use my imagination to think up all the stuff i'd do to her. but porn aside, i find myself always ogling (or "checking out", if you wanna put it in a decent way) at chics, and never at guys.
what does turn me on, is shemale porn. and how does that work? well, i fancy having a "fling" with a very specific kind of guy, and i imagine myself to be doing the stuff i see in the porn on that guy. also, it's like having those kind of "gay" sexual thoughts can get me turned on waaay faster than having any kind of "straight" sexual thoughts. plus, sometimes i tend to think that....what if i was born a girl? and i end up thinking of all of the crazy stuff i'd do that people otherwise classify as "slutty, to a whole new level". and sometimes these kinda thoughts give me a quick and major erection. but then, i wonder that other than the sex, being a woman wouldnt quite be as fun. but otherwise, i find gay porn just about as unentertaining as straight porn.
now don't get me wrong here....i'm not the kind who'd wanna suppress his gay/trans side in order to look normal. i'd happily admit myself to be gay if it turns out that i truly am. however, if i am to think of myself as gay, then that'd mean i'd be giving up on having a relationship with a girl; but i can't see myself going anywhere in a relationship with a guy. i mean, in my mind, it just doesn't sound like i'd be happy with something like that. and about the trans bit, well, it feels like one of those things where i might go off doing something that might feel like the right thing to do at the moment (like getting a sex change op) but then in the long run i might end up regretting it. plus, even if i were to take a sex change op, i wouldn't be totally happy because i guess that kinda op wouldn't completely be able to turn me into a girl (which i'd want to be, rather than a guy who underwent a sex change op). sometimes i just wish there was a way i could change from being a guy to girl, and back, whenever i wanted....so i could get to try out some of my fantasies.
so....what should i think of myself to be? am i obviously gay? or is it somewhere in the gray area between being straight, and being gay? or am i a trans? or am i simply a bi-curious & impotent straight guy?