Ederra Hill
New member
I'm 14, almost 15, I've had an eating disorder since I was 9 years old. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy. I fast for days on end and then when I crack and eat, I feel like I want to die. I took laxatives for over a year which has left my body broken, since then I can barely eat anything; I just feel full and sick and like I have to go to the bathroom. I often have diarrhea too, without using the laxatives. There's even blood, occasionally, which scares me. I make myself throw up too, only sometimes though when I had no laxatives but my parents found them and took them away so over the last few weeks I make myself throw up heaps. I've been up and down, weight wise, for the last 2 years. From 48 - 58 kg, I now weigh 45kg though. I suffer anxiety, I have anxiety attacks almost every day, sometimes even twice in the one day. I can't breathe, I shake, I become freezing and then the next minute I'll be sweating because I'm really hot, I feel light headed, sick in the stomach and sometimes I faint. My legs often cease working properly too during these attacks, sometimes I try to walk but I just collapse. Other than my anxiety, on a day to day basis I'm often fatigued, lethargic, cold, dehydrated, my bones are weak (they crack and sprain easily, it hurts), I can't handle exercise/sport like I used to. I was actually school sports captain in primary school, netball captain and faction captain, I was in the softball and footy team, I played tennis, golf and won champion girl in athletics, etc. I also have headaches all the time, feel nauseous, weak and the list goes on. I feel sad and despondent all day every day, I cry myself to sleep every night. It hurts so much; I'm in so much pain. There's more to the pain though - my cousin (who was practically a brother/best friend to me, we were that close) got into drugs, did bad things and messed with bad people. He's been missing for 3 years now and it hurts There is more but I won't bore you with other stories.
What can I do?
What do you think?
Please help.
What can I do?
What do you think?
Please help.