I'm pregnant and single and need advice on how to discuss w/ the baby's father.?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Heather Due 4/03/10
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Heather Due 4/03/10

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One of my very best friends and I had sex several times. I guess you could say it was a friend w/ benefits type situation, but we decided 2 weekends ago that we needed to stop in order to protect our friendship. Anyway, 6 days later I found out I was pregnant. He lives about an hour and a half from me so I called him on the phone to tell him so he'd have time to think about it like I have before we see each other this weekend. I go up tomorrow night and I'm terrified. I'm definitely keeping the baby. For me there is no other option, but I get the feeling he doesn't want me to.

I have PCOS which makes it much harder to conceive, and when I was married my ex and I tried for a long time to have a baby with no luck. I'm now 35 and single with no meaningful, settledown relationship in sight so I had pretty much accepted the fact that I wouldn't have children of my own. In addtion to all that, I was on the pill so needless to say, this baby is a little miracle to me.

So I guess my main question is what do I say to make him understand without coming across selfish. Of course the ideal situation would be to be in a relationship w/ the father but that's not the case and we can still love and take care of this baby despite that.
 
I would never Judge you! I think in your situation and in any situation, it is your body your baby and you need to do what is right for you. Explain to him that this happened for a reason and you are not trying to trap him in any way and did not plan on this to even take place, but you want this child. Let him know your stand point and dont let him guilt you or make you feel any different. Besides maybe he has had time to think about it and feels like this could be a good thing. Right now he may be in Pannic mode, however things could change. Please dont abort this little blessing there are so many people praying everyday for a blessing and would give the world to be in your shoes. Good Luck
 
Ok, so you need to tell him that you are pregnant and that you are going to keep it. but you would like some input and support and know where you both stand.

I know where you coming from with the PCOS. My doctor told me 6 years ago that i had it and that it was to the point that i would have little or no chance at all.... so was pretty shocked to see the pregnant plus sign on the stick. I know how precious it is to know that you are eventually carrying esp after you thought you could not.

now the pill that the doc had you on could have been just a hormone regulator like the one i was on. it just to make me more regular and doc did say i needed to make sure i had extra protection. though i never did lol.

i tried the whole thing but but you are going to sound selfish to him anyway. do you need him to support you? how does he feel about you? is it really purely FWB?

anyway good luck, stay calm & stay focused... who knows how it will turn out if you dont try!

AND DONT STRESS you dont wana put your baby at risk
 
well being he was a friend he should know that you have tried to become pregnant before and never could also you don't see yourself in a relationship with anyone anytime in the future has of now. also let him know also with PCOS its almost impossible for you to get pregnant and to get pregnant while on birth control there was some higher power at work with this . let him know you want to keep it that you don't except him to be with you but if he wants you would like him to be a part of the baby life. Now if he say he don't and don't want nothing to do with the baby . then tell him he can sign his rights to you. he does have option also its not just want you want. he does have a say on what he wants either to be there or not but that's all he has a right to. and just let him know how you want him there has a friend only ......good luck
 
Well, if you are not really looking for financial support from him then just let him know that he can be as involved as he would like or not like to be. But his involvement must be consistent and if he can't make that committment then his name will not be put on the birth certificate and you will not ask for any financial support from him and that you would like his parental rights signed over so that he can not come after you later. This is most likely going to put a damper on your relationship (obviously) if he chooses not to be involved. But don't pressure him... it won't force him to be any better of a father. I'm sure that you would like for him to be involved and you should definitely tell him that. Just make sure that you make your expectations of his involvement very clear. Good Luck!
 
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