I was bullied for being stupid in high school. I've always had social anxiety disorder since before high school and this just makes things worse for me. One boy picked up on one stupid thing I did and picked on everything I did after that, telling other people what I'd done. It was so embarrassing. High school was Hell from then on. Now, I can't help but think everything I do and think is stupid.
I did OK in my exams, I could have done better because I know I was depressed back then. It's just the socialising part I'm having big trouble with. I hate coming across as slow and believing it's true and never will improve also. I'm 18 years old now.
The things that made me come across as stupid:
I say things without thinking, a lot. I think it's my phobia that causes this, it also kind of puts a mental block (my mind goes blank) in my mind not allowing me to think straight because I'm so afraid of being the object of ridicule, of which I end up being anyway of course.
I have a low concentration level. I do things sometimes without thinking. For example I could put something in a completely ridiculous place (which someone picked up on once).
Basically, I come across as a complete retard and I'm believing that I am one, and that I can't change that.
Do you have any advice for me?
I did OK in my exams, I could have done better because I know I was depressed back then. It's just the socialising part I'm having big trouble with. I hate coming across as slow and believing it's true and never will improve also. I'm 18 years old now.
The things that made me come across as stupid:
I say things without thinking, a lot. I think it's my phobia that causes this, it also kind of puts a mental block (my mind goes blank) in my mind not allowing me to think straight because I'm so afraid of being the object of ridicule, of which I end up being anyway of course.
I have a low concentration level. I do things sometimes without thinking. For example I could put something in a completely ridiculous place (which someone picked up on once).
Basically, I come across as a complete retard and I'm believing that I am one, and that I can't change that.
Do you have any advice for me?