I'm a 22 year old female. Two years ago, I came out to my parents as a lesbian and they were absolutely devastated. They hate seeing me spend time with my girlfriend, even though the relationship has positively changed my life. Where I used to be shy and easily upset, coming out has given me the confidence to make friends, find a job, volunteer in the community and take up new extracurriculars. They decided that they would "allow" me to experiment until I graduated from university, after which I will no longer be welcome in our family home or permitted to contact any family members. I initially thought they were speaking out of confusion and that they would come around with time, but it's been 24 months and they still refuse to speak to me unless it's about ending my relationship.
I will be graduating from university in a few short months. I feel that I cannot break up with a girl I love only to live out a series of meaningless relationships with men. I also feel that I cannot live in exile from my family; they may be dramatic and ignorant, but I love my parents and want them to remain a part of my life. The only option I see is to refrain from entering any sort of romantic relationship, but I feel this would only cause me to resent my parents and hurt our relationship even more.
I am beginning to avoid leaving my apartment, neglecting my work and feeling unable to sleep or eat. Lately I have been having impulsive thoughts about ending my life. I don't consider myself to be depressed because I truly enjoy life and have many career and personal goals; however I feel that I cannot live without watching the ones close to me (my girlfriend, my family) suffer. I fully realize that committing suicide will hurt those who care about me, but it seems kinder than consistently embarrassing or offending them over many years of living.
In short, I would like to know where I can seek help to sort through these issues. Any advice on the matter will be appreciated.
I will be graduating from university in a few short months. I feel that I cannot break up with a girl I love only to live out a series of meaningless relationships with men. I also feel that I cannot live in exile from my family; they may be dramatic and ignorant, but I love my parents and want them to remain a part of my life. The only option I see is to refrain from entering any sort of romantic relationship, but I feel this would only cause me to resent my parents and hurt our relationship even more.
I am beginning to avoid leaving my apartment, neglecting my work and feeling unable to sleep or eat. Lately I have been having impulsive thoughts about ending my life. I don't consider myself to be depressed because I truly enjoy life and have many career and personal goals; however I feel that I cannot live without watching the ones close to me (my girlfriend, my family) suffer. I fully realize that committing suicide will hurt those who care about me, but it seems kinder than consistently embarrassing or offending them over many years of living.
In short, I would like to know where I can seek help to sort through these issues. Any advice on the matter will be appreciated.