Im at university and have a lovely boyfriend who i have been with for 5 years. At the beginning of september our course involved a week long fieldcourse to a very remote country. As it was a course trip my boyfriend didn't come. Our class is very close but this year we had a new addition a beautiful, buff lad who i had the joy of sharing a room with (there were 8 of us in the room but we had beds next to each other) Over the week we got really really really close, to the point where we were ignoring pretty much everyone else on the trip. We talked about things i've never spoken to anyone about except my boyfriend, really close intimate sexual things, but nothing dirty. It was almost like we had clicked and were just acting like a couple. If at dinner i had my hand on the table he would cover it with his and he'd randomly hug me, we shared food all the time eating off the same plate and using the same cutlery. On the last night he kissed me on the cheek and said he knew i had a boyfriend so he wouldn't chase me, that it was up to me to set the boundarys. I left it at that and we both socialised with other people for the rest of the evening and next day we were awkward. He still sat next to me and talked to me but when i was around he'd go and blatently flirt/hug another girl who he had told me he didn't like. I figured forget it he'd clearly thought we were more than just friends, i generally am a lot closer to males than females and at home (not at uni) me and my male friends act like that 24/7.
We were on different flights on the way back to uni so we didn't see each other again for 3 days. He acted completely normally (or rather how he had already been acting) to me for the next couple of weeks and then he asked me out. I said no and he asked me out again. It felt like i was almost leading him on but i'd stopped the physical contact between us when we got back from SA and would only reply to texts not initiate conversations etc so for me the question was completely out of the blue. he wouldn't talk to me for two weeks and i thought fair enough we both need space but then he started texting again.
Then the other week (just after christmas) i got a text from a mutual friend saying that the Boy fancied me and that i wasn't being fair to my boyfriend, so i text him back and said i haven't been in contact with the Boy in ages that i wasn't initiating or flirting anymore or anything. I still felt guilty though because if other people were thinking i was cheating maybe in some way i was??
Now the new term has started and the boy didn't go to any lectures last week, i didn't think he had gone to those we had today either, but one of my annoying friends text the Boy from my phone and said "you too cool to come to lectures now then? xx" and he replied a few hours later with "I was there you dumb ass. Xx" I replied saying "sorry was xxxx are you ok?" and he hasn't replied.
Im so confused because im kinda sad nothing did happen between us. Im glad it didn't because i adore my boyfriend but he's all ive ever had. That sounds hideous but you always want what you can't have. My attraction to the boy was really physical. My boyfriend was never really my "type" or who i'd imagined id be with we kind of fell together and i fell in love regardless of his physical appearance but with the Boy he was everything i'd always fancied hes tall stacked (very well musculed) and seriously masculine. Im a vegetarian but watching him eat meat really turned me on!
im just confused and dreding going into university tomorow because i don't know how to act around him, should i ignore him, act normally or leave him to it?? Its awkward because we are a small class and i don't want our relationship to be over, we had such a laugh together and he's really sweet but i don't know how to fix this. Im not going to text him or let anyone else text him but i just don't get his character changes. One of my girlfriends thinks hes just being an idiot and when he thinks he'd be able to get his leg over is nice to me and then ignores me the rest.
Help?
We were on different flights on the way back to uni so we didn't see each other again for 3 days. He acted completely normally (or rather how he had already been acting) to me for the next couple of weeks and then he asked me out. I said no and he asked me out again. It felt like i was almost leading him on but i'd stopped the physical contact between us when we got back from SA and would only reply to texts not initiate conversations etc so for me the question was completely out of the blue. he wouldn't talk to me for two weeks and i thought fair enough we both need space but then he started texting again.
Then the other week (just after christmas) i got a text from a mutual friend saying that the Boy fancied me and that i wasn't being fair to my boyfriend, so i text him back and said i haven't been in contact with the Boy in ages that i wasn't initiating or flirting anymore or anything. I still felt guilty though because if other people were thinking i was cheating maybe in some way i was??
Now the new term has started and the boy didn't go to any lectures last week, i didn't think he had gone to those we had today either, but one of my annoying friends text the Boy from my phone and said "you too cool to come to lectures now then? xx" and he replied a few hours later with "I was there you dumb ass. Xx" I replied saying "sorry was xxxx are you ok?" and he hasn't replied.
Im so confused because im kinda sad nothing did happen between us. Im glad it didn't because i adore my boyfriend but he's all ive ever had. That sounds hideous but you always want what you can't have. My attraction to the boy was really physical. My boyfriend was never really my "type" or who i'd imagined id be with we kind of fell together and i fell in love regardless of his physical appearance but with the Boy he was everything i'd always fancied hes tall stacked (very well musculed) and seriously masculine. Im a vegetarian but watching him eat meat really turned me on!
im just confused and dreding going into university tomorow because i don't know how to act around him, should i ignore him, act normally or leave him to it?? Its awkward because we are a small class and i don't want our relationship to be over, we had such a laugh together and he's really sweet but i don't know how to fix this. Im not going to text him or let anyone else text him but i just don't get his character changes. One of my girlfriends thinks hes just being an idiot and when he thinks he'd be able to get his leg over is nice to me and then ignores me the rest.
Help?