Aspiring Author
New member
here's some "poetry" by me
you dont have to read all of them but it would be nice if you could critique me on all of them
(by the way: not all my poetry)
______________________________________
Love for Skies
I was looking for something,
But all i found was me.
Looking up at the Sky,
Not the big blue deep.
Ocean is wonderful,
But in the end to same.
My big blue Sky is always changing,
While Night and Day play their games.
Day can be my sorrow,
Can be my peace.
Night can be so lovely,
Or can make my heart cease.
And i wonder & wonder,
Where will i fit in?
But the answer was hidden.
I shall search Skies thick & thin.
I only found me,
And the answer was clear.
But the clouds rolled in;
All the truth disappeared.
I would search in the Ocean,
But the depths are too great.
Night & Day might miss my presence.
So the Sky is my fate.
I'm searching without purpose,
Just sifting through my Night & Day.
And while my Sky is filled with malice,
It shows with clouds of grey.
When the storms are over,
And the Ocean can relax,
I feel a sort of peaceful,
A peaceful no one can take back.
My Skies clouds are always friendly,
Even when they're filled with rage.
But the Sky can be so lonely,
While the fight for all times wage.
As my search goes on,
I seldom ever miss,
When seeking the Sky to be drawn,
You get lost in the big blue abyss.
______________________________________________________
Critter In My Rib-Cage
I don't know who he is,
Or why so badly he wants out.
Knocking on my fleshy chest,
He's dieing, there's no doubt.
Beating ever slower,
I'll see him 'till the end.
But he's still got some life left,
He's guna make my branches bend....
But we've got something in common,
We both love seeing you!
& even through his famine,
When you leave, it makes us (both) blue.
When you stepped into the room,
I learned why he wants escape.
Cause he begins to beat "BOOM BOOM!!!!"
He wants to be with you.
I want the two of you to never part,
My rib cage critter has a name too,
This little guy i call my heart.
______________________________________________________
To My Sister
How i wish how i wish,
I were just like you,
Turn the sky from grey to blue,
I wish i could do that too.
But instead, I'll write a verse,
Write a novel, it's my curse.
Turn some thoughts into a line,
Take these words and make them mine.
And i damn sure wish i knew,
How you do the things you do.
It's depressing when you're sad,
Takes away the wish i had.
But here is the funny side,
And im glad it's not a lie,
But i never see you sad,
Always happy, never mad.
If your reading this right now,
And you're wondering just how,
I could take the words i find,
From the dark depths of my mind,
And just write a verse or two,
It's simple, i think of you!
_____________________________________________________
Re:What's up?
the floor is whats up, and the roof is below,
and everything is spinning, i don't even know!
the bloods rushing to my head,
and im forgetting everything i ever said.
I'm prety sure im dieing, and i don't wanna survive.
but i hear all this screaming, so i guess i'll stay alive.
my whole world just stopped turning,
and i can feel something burning,
and i can smell these inscents,
but the smoke is too thick to make sense.
now i just wanna stop breathing,
and stop with believing.
i need these pills to kick in,
and yea, i know it's a sin,
but none of us are perfect,
cause we've all got our defects.
it sucks, now that everything's wrong,
and i wish these were lyrics,
but there wouldn't be words in this song.
just need to stop crying,
and start with the lieing.
cause my whole life is flipped,
i've just capsized this ship.
there is no way to fix life,
just deal with the pain and strife,
hey, we're nearing the end,
so just sleep, let the wounds mend...
____________________________________________________
Sick Kids
I'm licking doorknobs cause i want this disease,
Not hoping for death, i just want to bleed.
I'm wanting this parasite, so plant the seed.
Cause if you ogt me sick it'd be a good deed.
Savoring pennies, cause i love being ill,
It's a horrible feeling, but it's an excuse for the pills.
I want to be healthy, and i don't want to die,
But you know its great being sick, don't lie.
I'm tasting my palms, but not washing hands,
It's a horrible flavor, but the shit hits the fan!
Possiblities are abundant, if you lick whatever you can,
So i'm licking these doorknobs, cause im a sick man!
_____________________________________________________
Orange Frankenstien
Hello ,my frankenstien?
Are you there?
Your orange skin, and dark blue hair...
My creation! You are finally born!
But this news I have will leave you torn...
I'll leave you here, must say good-bye,
Please no, my son, please do not cry!
Oh no, won't leave you here alone!
For if i did my heart must be stone...
you dont have to read all of them but it would be nice if you could critique me on all of them
(by the way: not all my poetry)
______________________________________
Love for Skies
I was looking for something,
But all i found was me.
Looking up at the Sky,
Not the big blue deep.
Ocean is wonderful,
But in the end to same.
My big blue Sky is always changing,
While Night and Day play their games.
Day can be my sorrow,
Can be my peace.
Night can be so lovely,
Or can make my heart cease.
And i wonder & wonder,
Where will i fit in?
But the answer was hidden.
I shall search Skies thick & thin.
I only found me,
And the answer was clear.
But the clouds rolled in;
All the truth disappeared.
I would search in the Ocean,
But the depths are too great.
Night & Day might miss my presence.
So the Sky is my fate.
I'm searching without purpose,
Just sifting through my Night & Day.
And while my Sky is filled with malice,
It shows with clouds of grey.
When the storms are over,
And the Ocean can relax,
I feel a sort of peaceful,
A peaceful no one can take back.
My Skies clouds are always friendly,
Even when they're filled with rage.
But the Sky can be so lonely,
While the fight for all times wage.
As my search goes on,
I seldom ever miss,
When seeking the Sky to be drawn,
You get lost in the big blue abyss.
______________________________________________________
Critter In My Rib-Cage
I don't know who he is,
Or why so badly he wants out.
Knocking on my fleshy chest,
He's dieing, there's no doubt.
Beating ever slower,
I'll see him 'till the end.
But he's still got some life left,
He's guna make my branches bend....
But we've got something in common,
We both love seeing you!
& even through his famine,
When you leave, it makes us (both) blue.
When you stepped into the room,
I learned why he wants escape.
Cause he begins to beat "BOOM BOOM!!!!"
He wants to be with you.
I want the two of you to never part,
My rib cage critter has a name too,
This little guy i call my heart.
______________________________________________________
To My Sister
How i wish how i wish,
I were just like you,
Turn the sky from grey to blue,
I wish i could do that too.
But instead, I'll write a verse,
Write a novel, it's my curse.
Turn some thoughts into a line,
Take these words and make them mine.
And i damn sure wish i knew,
How you do the things you do.
It's depressing when you're sad,
Takes away the wish i had.
But here is the funny side,
And im glad it's not a lie,
But i never see you sad,
Always happy, never mad.
If your reading this right now,
And you're wondering just how,
I could take the words i find,
From the dark depths of my mind,
And just write a verse or two,
It's simple, i think of you!
_____________________________________________________
Re:What's up?
the floor is whats up, and the roof is below,
and everything is spinning, i don't even know!
the bloods rushing to my head,
and im forgetting everything i ever said.
I'm prety sure im dieing, and i don't wanna survive.
but i hear all this screaming, so i guess i'll stay alive.
my whole world just stopped turning,
and i can feel something burning,
and i can smell these inscents,
but the smoke is too thick to make sense.
now i just wanna stop breathing,
and stop with believing.
i need these pills to kick in,
and yea, i know it's a sin,
but none of us are perfect,
cause we've all got our defects.
it sucks, now that everything's wrong,
and i wish these were lyrics,
but there wouldn't be words in this song.
just need to stop crying,
and start with the lieing.
cause my whole life is flipped,
i've just capsized this ship.
there is no way to fix life,
just deal with the pain and strife,
hey, we're nearing the end,
so just sleep, let the wounds mend...
____________________________________________________
Sick Kids
I'm licking doorknobs cause i want this disease,
Not hoping for death, i just want to bleed.
I'm wanting this parasite, so plant the seed.
Cause if you ogt me sick it'd be a good deed.
Savoring pennies, cause i love being ill,
It's a horrible feeling, but it's an excuse for the pills.
I want to be healthy, and i don't want to die,
But you know its great being sick, don't lie.
I'm tasting my palms, but not washing hands,
It's a horrible flavor, but the shit hits the fan!
Possiblities are abundant, if you lick whatever you can,
So i'm licking these doorknobs, cause im a sick man!
_____________________________________________________
Orange Frankenstien
Hello ,my frankenstien?
Are you there?
Your orange skin, and dark blue hair...
My creation! You are finally born!
But this news I have will leave you torn...
I'll leave you here, must say good-bye,
Please no, my son, please do not cry!
Oh no, won't leave you here alone!
For if i did my heart must be stone...