Are you physiologically addicted yet? In other words, has your body gotten to the point that it needs the alcohol yet? If not, then count yourself lucky. Whether you are emotionally addicted or not, you are using alcohol in an unhealthy way and you are drinking alcoholoically. You might try looking in on an AA meeting and finding out a bit about what they are about. You may or may not be an alcoholic yet but, you certainly sound like you are on your way there. Whether you are an alcoholic or not, you do seem to have a bit of a handle on the reason(s) why you drink; or are drinking now. That is a good thing because so many have no idea why. Being lonely and having a lack of social connection are some of the easiest things to address. This is not to say that you're going to become a babe magnet nor a social butterfly over night. But, it is fairly easy to find a way around. - There are fifty million organizations, groups, and projects out there that need labor and skills; while intended as a hyperbole, the actual number probably exceeds fifty million. I would recommend a "doing" volunteer activity such as trail clearing, habitat rebuilding, or even Habitat for Humanity. These groups tend to have week-end activities, teach skills, and work well with people. They tend to be easier to drop in on, and if you're getting up at 7AM to go work hard, it should start to interfer with some of those week-end evenings. These types of activites are a great place to build some of those social skills that you may be lacking in and - give you something to talk about in other social interactions. In terms of girls and women, these types of activities will give you some experience in talking with them in a semi-social world. And, they would expose you to girls and women who may not be looking for a Matel Ken doll. Use these activities for picking up social skills, some type of social connection, maybe some additional skills and knowldge, something great to put on the post college resume, and keeping busy. In the process, you may find that you have a particular passion. And/or volunteer opportunities "where the girls are".....At this point, I would be looking for aquaintances, a social connection, and something other than the drinking to keep occupied with. You are far more likely to pick up good friends and/or a girl friend when you have something to bring to the relationship. As you build yourself back up, you will find that the friends and even girl friends will come. - If you don't look like a Ken doll, you need to have something else interesting to bring to the table. By this time, you've probably found that a number of the high school Ken dolls already have a beer belly and not much else going for them. In a couple of years, you'll find that a number of your college Ken's maybe working in white collar but, they aren't much better off than the failing high school Ken's. Happiness and satisfaction come from within. Sometimes, those that don't look like a Ken doll discover this earlier in life than the Ken dolls. Sounds like your first step is to cut back and/or stop the drinking; checking into an AA group or two may be a first step in this process. It sounds like your second step is to seek a social connection, feel needed, and generate a sense of accomplishment. Volunteering is the quickest, fastest, cheapest path to these and there is plenty of "opportunity" from which to pick and choose out there. The third step is to build up some social skills, interactions, and aquaintances. The fourth step is to meet some folks who do not place as high a premium on Ken dolls as some of the folks you've met up with thus far. The fifth step is to relax enough to find good friends and maybe even a girl friend; this will take bringing friendship material to the table on your side as well.
