what I've written. Any tips? One of my poems:
Though it may not be at once
It happens.
Every one of us looks up
We look into the same sky
You may see it through different eyes than I do
And you may not look when I look
But the sky we look into is the same
Once sky over us
You and I look up into it
and the same stars are there
And the same blue-black velvet is behind them
Different days
Different times, but I know it has happened.
You and I look up and see identical portraits of life
When you tilt your head back
and look through made up eyes
Your moon is full
When I do the same, my eyes are clear
And my moon is crescent
One sky. We shared
Now they are two
My stars rest on a black night
Yours rest on a blue night
I was wrong.
We don't share one sky,
Now we don't share anything.
Please be honest, but not mean. Thanks =)
Though it may not be at once
It happens.
Every one of us looks up
We look into the same sky
You may see it through different eyes than I do
And you may not look when I look
But the sky we look into is the same
Once sky over us
You and I look up into it
and the same stars are there
And the same blue-black velvet is behind them
Different days
Different times, but I know it has happened.
You and I look up and see identical portraits of life
When you tilt your head back
and look through made up eyes
Your moon is full
When I do the same, my eyes are clear
And my moon is crescent
One sky. We shared
Now they are two
My stars rest on a black night
Yours rest on a blue night
I was wrong.
We don't share one sky,
Now we don't share anything.
Please be honest, but not mean. Thanks =)