Shami,
I don't know you well (I don't think I've ever talked to you personally more than once or twice) but from reading your posts I can tell that you are a fun-loving, good-spirited person. Please view this as what it is: a rut that you can get out of and NOT a reflection that you are not worthy or incapable of a better lifestyle that pleases you. You can be happy and you deserve to be.
Have you talked to your husband about this? Not as in a "you're doing x and y wrong" kind of way, but in a "this is how I feel and I need help" kind of way? I hope that could be the first step to feeling better.
Another important step is to tell your doctor if your pills aren't working very well! If you are constantly off and on them it is VERY hard on your body. The chemical changes in your brain from going off and on anti-depressants or other brain chemistry-altering drugs are severe and should be taken very seriously. Talk to your doctor. If you want to stop taking the pills, there is probably something that they should be doing (switching your dosage or switching medications entirely).
Please, if you are like me you will write yourself off and try to tell yourself not to worry. But you deserve to be happy! Make the steps. Talk to your doctor, your husband, your family. Don't delay!
