I'm 35 and only had sex once when I was 23.?

[ShyGirl]

Im 35, and didnt get my first kiss until I was 17 (I was very shy in school because I was five foot tall and weighed 170 at the time) then I met someone online when i was 23, thought i fell in love, he came to visit me from across country and we had sex (lost my virginity) then he went back home. I found out he was a liar and was sleeping with 7 other girls so i broke it off. I havent had sex or even kissed anybody since then. I am now 250 lbs, I am so depressed and huge. I feel like a freak that ive only had sex once in my life and even if i were to meet a guy who liked big big short short girls... he would think im a freak because of my limited experience. At this point, im thinking of giving up trying for love and just accept that i gave my virginity to a creep and just forget about men or children and just focus on my religion and pets. What do u think?