I'm 30 yrs old and me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 yrs now and our

[Pokey]

sex life hasn't always? the best, but I over looked it because of our situation with sharing our room with my 2 girls per I had just moved out here from out of state and was in the process of getting settled. About 6 months into the relationship our sex life improved a little but still was not enough for me. It was not normal for me to be with a man who's appetite for sex was minimal. I begin to feel like I was the problem and wanted to fix it, so I would talk to him time after time about what was going on and he always had several different excuses to why not, such as I can't perform when we fight, or I don;t feel comfortable because the girls are in the house. So I always wondered if he had a sex drive and if he did how was it getting tooken care of. I recently found that he was fulfilling his needs via internet when I would leave for work and the girls were at school. I'm destroyed and hurt by this and don't no how to recover from this? I feel like there is something wrong with me and it's hard. I'm not an ugly girl, I work out 5 times a week and I'm always getting offered modeling opportunities, so I'm confused. I confronted him and explained to him how he has made me feel and he is completely embarrassed and says that he feels like a pig and how stupid he has been. He tells me that It's HIM that's the problem and he loves me and loves the way I look but I'm still me. It's hard for me to believe that he could all of a sudden become interested in me again that quickly. Our sex life is still not good because I have closed up and feel insecure that I;m not good enough. I feel like I'm competing with these super porn stars. What do I do at this point???? He will not give me real reasons why??? I need to no why???