I'm 23 years old with FEAR OF DRIVING.

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PhantasmPhantom

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I'm new to this board. I feel horrible .. feel like crying almost.. so i figured i'd vent my problems on this board.

I grew up with very dysfunctional and controlling parents.
When i use the word "dysfunctional" i mean severely dysfunctional. I'd go as far to say. Think of the Strangest and Stressful situation you could grow up in. Thats my life.

My dad has tried to teach me how to drive when i was a pre-teen and teenager. He'd go a day or two straight practicing with me, but then he'd stop. (i'm not blaming him for my anxiety, because i don't know where my fear stems from). My dad was never focused on helping me get my license, because he enjoys his kiRAB and his wife being VERY DEPENDENT on HIM at all times and when that isn't the case.. He was off chasing women or chasing money...

Most people would say.. well "Go Ask a Friend to Help You Practice Driving"
In High School My frienRAB was So Hellbent on Getting High and Partying Every Free Moment they got.. they just wasn't interested in helping me daily with driving like that. At The Most i could rely on them to take me to take the test, but without ANY real skills built up from practicing .. its suicide.


I've only taken the test once when i was 18 and failed (cones)... I've never taken the test again.

Everyone i know from Family to FrienRAB to Strangers of ALL AGES past 16 have taken the test and passed...driving.. moving along with life.

I don't know whats wrong with me, because I want to get my license and be a good driver, i pray about it.. i really want it, but My Fear makes me NOT push the issue.

I catch the bus everyone .. 2 and from WORK.

I get so scared and nervous under the wheel.. and my dad and mom are teh most negative people you'll ever meet in the world.

I have no positive force in my life.
uncle , mentor, Nothing

I don't know what to do. Its erabarassing.
I feel like a failure, weirdo , and as a guy.. i feel less of a man..because this is typically a woman's problem.

with health and money problems lately.

I don't know what to do.
I'm floating through life.
A tragedy waiting to happen.


 
Hi, and welcome to the boarRAB.

Have you considered driving school? It is important to have a calm, patient, knowledgeable driving instructor, which you would get with private driving lessons.

Family and frienRAB are not always suited for this job, as you have found out the hard way. Rather than be fearful, be open minded, that you can be a good confident driver, with a few lessons, and practice.

This is an excellent opportunity to gain the independence you desire. This is totally do-able, and a good thing to overcome sooner, rather than later. As you go through life, you will be faced with other challenges, and the more you can face them, and deal with them, in a positive way...the better you will feel about yourself.

I am truly sorry about your family life, but I give you credit for reaching out for a little help, and we are here for you anytime you need a place to vent your feelings. Please let me know how things go, OK?
 
Phantom,

I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a stressful and difficult time. But like writeleft said, you can get through this.

I think you have a couple of good options to consider:

1. As writeleft suggested, driving school. Most cities/towns have driving schools and many of them are 1-on-1 lessons. In order to be able to teach people how to drive, you have to have patience. I'm sure an instructor would be sympathetic to your concerns if you discussed the issue with him/her prior to hiring them to teach you to drive. If you don't get a good feeling after talking with them, go shop around for a different instructor.

2. Have you ever tried psychotherapy? Overcoming phobias is typically a straightforward process and is often successful. Many psychologists (or licensed mental health counselors) utilize a cognitive-behavior technique where you are gradually exposed to what you fear. The exposure, paired with a mixture of relaxation techniques can re-train your body and mind not to fear driving.
 
Get a prescription for anti-anxiety and go to driver's school, find a friend that can help you-a girlfriend maybe? Practise, practise.
 
I went to a general psychologist and he told me the first step is to talk to my parents to help me move on and cope better.

Didn't help, because he didn't understand why i couldn't talk to my parents....
my parents aren't approachable.
the shrink couldn't grasp it, I've tried to talk to them... it goes nowhere.

I probably need to find another psychologist.
 
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