If you knew you were going to die.

M

misty c

New member
Just a hypothetical question for you all. If you were diagnosed with a life threatening illness such as cancer or something else terminal, and the doctor said you have X amount of time to live would you tell your children? If so, how would you tell your children? Would you tell your extended family? What are some things you might do with the time you had left? Would you question what your existence here meant?
 
Well.... this may sound phony, but it's not. I assume every single day I'm going to die at some point during that day, in my case, probably a heart attack. It's more than possible in my case, so it's not some drama queen thing. I live every fucking day as if that day mattered, I try to make people I care about happy and tell them how much I care. Other than that, fuck it man, don't do things you wouldn't want on your conscience when you die, do what you can to enjoy life, and don't take things for granted.

In this hypothetical case... I'd tell my wife, not my kids or anyone else. Why burden them with something like that, they'll find out soon enough, and what if you tell them and then you don't die? Lots of worry over nothing then. People might imagine it would be better to warn everyone, but is it really? Isn't it more digging for sympathy, or spreading the misery? If it was true you'd probably end up in the hospital eventually, and then they'd all know.

What would I do? Considering my modest means, not much different to be sure. I would try to see my friends a bit more, if I could magically afford it, I'd quit working and see my family and friends all the time. I'd play some games, eat some good food, maybe go camping. I'm a simple guy who's been around a large part of the world a few times, so I wouldn't feel the need to "Go" anywhere.

Would I question my existence? Not at all, worked that out long ago, and I'm comfortable with my actions on this here world of hell.

Now if my wife was diagnosed with something like that, it'd be different, for sure.
 
No I wouldn't tell my children or family probably not even my husband. I couldn't go six months with everyone crying all the time and treating me like an invalid. I would of course leave a will and maybe a final message to the people I loved but that is all. All my kids are too small to understand and the wait would just make it worse.

Unless it was extremely obvious I would be keeping it to myself.

I don't believe I'd question my existence any more than I do now.
 
i dont have children so to think about whether or not i would tell them doesnt make sense to me. I would however, tell my boyfriend and most likely the rest of my family. i think it is only fair. This way they can prepare themselves better for my death. possibly cushion themselves a bit. because we all know ill be missed ;)

Ive also thought about what sort of arrangements i would make for myself after i die. i want to be burnt to a crisp and then spread all over the world. possibly NYC since its where my heart is but i cannot say that for certain as i havent been out of country yet. my boyfriends grandma got spread all over hawaii. a lot of her family lives there.
 
I would tell my children and family flat out. Everyone needs to come to terms with the fact that people die every day; no one is special. Depending on how long I had left to live, I'd want to go skydiving and visit Greece and Germany before I croaked.

I don't question my existance on this earth now and I don't even plan on it. I don't care about it. When I die, I'll be dead. People will forget about me over time; humans are replaceable.
 
cant say i agree with this entirely. + it's a really awful thought. i know people that love me wont forget about me over time. unless they die of course. there are also examples of lets say george washington, paul revere, people that have really influenced time. they arent forgotten are they?
 
I would definitely tell people, the closer I get to death. Not only to prepare them, but for the comfort that I will likely need from the people I love.

I would do everything that I've always wanted to do. I would backpack across Europe and see as much of the world as possible. I will take my time and stay as long as I like in each country/city. I would sky dive in every country and get fucked up often. I would do this only with my best friend. She will probably take it the hardest.

I will never again really question my existance. I'm pretty fucking sure that Heaven and Hell do no exist. I'm sure that "God" wouldn't send me to "Hell" for not believing in him. That idea is just fucking ridiculous.

I'm not worried at all. I'm a good person and don't hurt people. I'm in good standing with the universe.

I know that I've given quality and joy to a few people's lives. That's good enough for me.

I will call whichever family members that have hurt me and let them know that I still love them. I don't anyone to feel guilty with my passing.

I will definitely be cremated and probably scattered somewhere. I won't let my will go through probate. I will likely get an estate plan (not like I have much, lol) or an annuity to assure that my loved ones get whatever I want them to have.

My father always said that he wanted his ashes flushed down the toilet. I've considered this. One human life really IS quite meaningless in the big scheme of things. I think that it's symbolic. I like the idea.

This has made my eyes tear up. Thanks a lot, Carrie. ;)
 
Yes, I would tell my kids and loved ones. It's selfish not too. Depending on how long you have to live they don't treat you like an invalid. After a while it becomes just something that's always in the back of the mind but isn't the driving force.

If you don't tell them, they don't get the chance to say good bye. You're trying to spare yourself a bit of pain but it doesn't spare them anything. It makes it worse. Imagine if you didn't tell them, and then they find out with only days left?

There are a lot of things that go unsaid between friends, loved ones and family. Things that shouldn't need to be said because they're obvious. But being able to say them when you know the person is dieing brings a LOT of comfort.

How do you tell them? Soft and easy. Tell the spouse first and enlist his/her help. Sit the kids down and let them in on it. Take the kid's personalities into account. If they are the same age you may be able to tell them together. Otherwise you might need to sit with them individually and let them know.

Not telling the people that love you that you're dieing is foolish. It's the hardest thing you'll ever go through and by not telling the people closest to you, you've cut off your main support lines. They can't help you go through it if you can't tell them in the first place. It also makes it harder on them. It leaves them wondering after you're gone why they didn't know. They face the pain no matter what you do, but by not telling them, you cast doubt on the relationship and may push them to face a feeling of betrayal as well.
 
Honestly... I don't know what I'd do. It would really depend on the time I had left. If it were just a few days, I might not go through the hassle of informing everybody, and having a good sit down... If it were to be quick, I'd like the days before hand to move as quickly. I'd stock up the fridge with my favorite junk foods and soda, and if I still had the energy to have sex... well, I'd be a busy girl.

If I had a few months, I'd involve the whole family. I'd travel to some nice location with my family and end my days with a margarita in my hand, and a nice sunset to watch, surrounded with the people I loved. I'd just relax and enjoy the time I had left as much as I could.

I don't now, nor have I ever questioned my existance. I don't really care what happens when I die, cause I'll be f'ing dead. I don't have high hopes for heavan or utopia, or a planet filled with big breasted virgins... I think I'll be food for the worms, or ash for the wind... nothing more, nothing less.
 
I would tell no one. With the freedom brought on by the knowledge that I faced imminent death, I would lose all fear. I would hop in my car, withdraw all the cash from my checking account, and vanish.

Then the cops would start finding pedophiles and abusive parents lying dead in their homes, killed by shattering blows to the head or blood loss from their limbs being hacked off.

Refusing treatment, my condition would deteriorate, and depending on the disease, I may last years, months, or mere days.

When I'm caught I'll freely go to prison. What can they do to me? I'm a dead man walking.

Otherwise once the disease overcomes me I'll be found dead in my car with my left hand clutching a bloody axe and my right firmly clenched in the obligatory one-fingered salute.

Thanks for the kick-ass question.
 
I'd be far too busy enjoying my time left to do something as time consuming, and pointless as pushing my problems on another. In short, I'd keep my fucking mouth shut, and just fade away.
 
Depends on how you fade. Could mean several things, really. :thumbsup:

Truth is we can all speculate what we would do in a situation such as this, but you'll never know for sure what you'll do until you're actually in it.
 
If I had cancer...

I'd ask my kids "You wanna see a donkey show?"

After that I'd explain to them the meaning of life.

When my hair came out, I would tell them I'm turning black, it's the new thing yo.

When I start becoming deathly thin, I'd tell them I'm doing a six month long impression of Paris Hilton.

On my final day, I'd be all like "Tommy, I only have a few hours to live. Oh, and by the way, Happy Birthday."
 
Back
Top