Rainbow-Chan
New member
...scholarship? Basically I think it's time for me to get professional help, but I'm not sure if this is a good decision in the long run. I really want to go to University, but the only way I can do it id by getting a scholarship. I usually get good marks, but recently I've lost my grip on my studies because all my problems have been over powering me.
I suffer from depression, thoughts of suicide included(although I never would), I also have insomnia-like behavior(can't get to bed until after a certain time, midnight right now, but this varies). I think I am on my way into anorexia as well; I starve myself and have lost about 5 pounds recently(my friend forces me to eat at least a yogurt(which I often don't) and I think this and my mother making me eat keep me from losing more weight). I am really stressed out about everything, even though my semester is in the second week only. I self-harm and emotionally/mentally abuse myself. As an alternative to cutting, I have resorted to drawing on my body with Sharpie, which gives me satisfaction in a masochistic way. I am all bubbly and carefree at school, but when I get home I confine myself to my room and get really depressed. I feel worthless, hopeless, pained. I often times fall asleep, crying.
So, my question is, if I do decide to get professional help, is it still possible to get a scholarship(I have no idea if universities have access to those kind of files), or if they will even let me apply? Or is it better to not take a risk and go battle through it all myself?
All comments of advice, recommendations, experiences, etc. are appreciated!
I suffer from depression, thoughts of suicide included(although I never would), I also have insomnia-like behavior(can't get to bed until after a certain time, midnight right now, but this varies). I think I am on my way into anorexia as well; I starve myself and have lost about 5 pounds recently(my friend forces me to eat at least a yogurt(which I often don't) and I think this and my mother making me eat keep me from losing more weight). I am really stressed out about everything, even though my semester is in the second week only. I self-harm and emotionally/mentally abuse myself. As an alternative to cutting, I have resorted to drawing on my body with Sharpie, which gives me satisfaction in a masochistic way. I am all bubbly and carefree at school, but when I get home I confine myself to my room and get really depressed. I feel worthless, hopeless, pained. I often times fall asleep, crying.
So, my question is, if I do decide to get professional help, is it still possible to get a scholarship(I have no idea if universities have access to those kind of files), or if they will even let me apply? Or is it better to not take a risk and go battle through it all myself?
All comments of advice, recommendations, experiences, etc. are appreciated!