If a trans-woman says she's trans on the first date, is it appropriate for him to

[Reimyo]

I'm not trans but I wouldn't object to dating a trans person. And I'm bi, so theoretically it wouldn't make that much difference MTF or FTM to me. But I think if someone did tell me they were trans then that would be something I would ask. I didn't realise it was something trans people find really offensive to be asked (aside from if you're some random person they tell and you just blurt it out or something, obviously).

I would want to know what to expect down there if nothing else. And if I didn't know if would be nagging at me. I mean, I think it's normal when you fancy someone to have at least passing moments of thinking about what they look like naked etc so it would be weird if they told me they were trans but not what they had down there. Then again, I'm an open-minded person so I would hope they could discuss stuff with me as much and as detailed as they felt comfortable.

The question you're asking is more about dating a typical straight guy, so that's gotta be more difficult. But surely it's better that the guy knows what to expect? He'd find out sooner or later and probably feel deceived, or else if you were pre-op he'd freak out and you'd have wasted your time on him then... To be happy you surely want someone who accepts you for who you are, so it's got to be better to tell him early on. If he runs, he was never right for you, and if he stays it's a load off your chest at least.

 

[!!!]

ask pre-op or post-op? obviously if yur trans u kno it's rude for someone to ask if you "had the surgery".

But what if you date a guy and you feel you have to tell him on the first date.. just to be safe of course, ya kno?

I think I would not be offended by such a question, as it is normally the first question that pops into the person's mind.

I mean, the guy obviously would NOT be into you if he knew you still had the package.. but if he knew that you were post op, he'd probably think it over, as it's happened many times...



and of course you don't HAVE to tell your medical history, but we are talking about safety here and in my opinion safety is first, and also you never know because if he thinks you still have a penis he's hitting the road lol.. but if you say you are post op there's a BIG chance he could possibly be like "hmm weelllll..."