Emily Marie
New member
Well, here's it, pretty much: My boyfriend, "Tom", is a little messed up, I guess you could say. I know he has depression, but that is the only DIAGNOSED illness. He was adopted from a different country at a young age and his mother drank while he was in her stomach they think, so his adoptive mother here in the states (who is a psychologist) is pretty sure he has some fetal alcohol effects, which may account for some of the things he does that aren't consistent with depression and not with "normal" people either. He lies a lot, usually about nothing huge. He can be moody, though he is getting better lately. When he gets angry he doesn't get violent, but instead he pretty much completely closes off and goes cold, and it's like you just can't get through to him. He's taught himself to be able to block off emotion when he needs or wants to. Originally when I started noticing these traits, mainly the moody and angry ones, I took it super personally. But I am very close with his family and especially his mother and she's told me that I shouldn't take most of that personally at all because he's always been that way, thought he is working on it. Maybe so far I haven't painted the picture of why I WANT to stay with him, lol. Well, I love him, for one. This isn't my first relationship or "first love", but it's the first person I felt could really be my "soulmate" if such things exist. He makes me laugh like nobody else can and we have the exact same crazy sense of humor. As I mentioned I am very involved with his family and I love them and they love me. Pretty much every time he sees them, so do I. They're like two more parents to me. He's the only person who I've ever thought about marrying. At this point I'm not going to go put on a dress tomorrow or anything, but I would still love to see that man as my husband someday. The main thing is that I have just decided that I'm going to stay in a relationship and fight for the survival of a relationship with someone who obviously has things left to work on, and who may try to sabotage it subconciously. He does actively go to therapy appointments and from what I hear, he likes going and he likes who he works with. I have noticed positive changes and I'm pretty sure he is working on other things with himself too, not just the way he relates to others like me. I know a lot of girls probably would run especially when I said he lies, but I used to lie a lot too and that's the thing; I changed it. Still lie here and there, but everyone does. I have more faith in him than some might because I've personally fixed that in myself. Soo...basically the whole purpose of this was to ask if anyone had any ideas for ways to cope with him and potential problems now and into the future, or even just ideas for fun stuff to try to do? AND songs! I am looking for a really good song that's relevant to standing by someone and fighting for them, or not giving up on someone. You can probably figure it out by this question. Thank you! Have an amazing night 