discipline problems? My husband died two years ago. My daughter was 12 then...she just turned 14 last month. Suddenly, adolescence has hit, and she's starting to give me some trouble. I had her in for therapy and grief counseling after he died, and she seemed to be adjusting quite well. Last fall, she started her period and now gets very weepy PMS. When she’s in PMS mode, she doesn’t behave very well. She also has developed a smart mouth, and like my dead husband, she will never admit she is wrong or has made a mistake, and she can not say she is sorry for things she’s done, also a trait she inherited from him.
When I try to discipline her, by taking away privileges and taking her off the computer, she starts crying about how much she misses her Daddy, and how HE understood her and I don't. She gangs up with my 20 year old daughter, and they both weep and wail and carry on about my late husband. This really hurts, since I have tried my hardest to help both of them get through this, and I give my daughter an incredible amount of time and attention...willingly, because she is my child and I love her. But I don't know how to get her to behave without all the crying and "I miss my Daddy", and "You don't understand me, he did" stuff, which is wearing me down. I don't want her to grow up undisciplined and wild...and I just don't know what to do. Any NICE help would be appreciated so much. Thank you.
(My late husband was an SOB… I was on the verge of divorcing him when he unexpectedly died. He had a heart attack several years ago, and it scarred him emotionally so much. I tried working with him, tried to get him, and us into counseling, but he wouldn’t hear it. My daughters don’t know the truth about him…that he was cheating on me for a while …I stayed in the marriage for the girls since they adored him, and he was a good father…but a month before he died he said he was going to kill me, and I found things after he died that led me to believe he was putting a plan like that into motion. That’s why I was going to divorce him; so that when the girls start carrying on about their wonderful dead father, I can’t sympathize very much, even though I’ve never told them what a terrible person he was, and I never will.)
When I try to discipline her, by taking away privileges and taking her off the computer, she starts crying about how much she misses her Daddy, and how HE understood her and I don't. She gangs up with my 20 year old daughter, and they both weep and wail and carry on about my late husband. This really hurts, since I have tried my hardest to help both of them get through this, and I give my daughter an incredible amount of time and attention...willingly, because she is my child and I love her. But I don't know how to get her to behave without all the crying and "I miss my Daddy", and "You don't understand me, he did" stuff, which is wearing me down. I don't want her to grow up undisciplined and wild...and I just don't know what to do. Any NICE help would be appreciated so much. Thank you.
(My late husband was an SOB… I was on the verge of divorcing him when he unexpectedly died. He had a heart attack several years ago, and it scarred him emotionally so much. I tried working with him, tried to get him, and us into counseling, but he wouldn’t hear it. My daughters don’t know the truth about him…that he was cheating on me for a while …I stayed in the marriage for the girls since they adored him, and he was a good father…but a month before he died he said he was going to kill me, and I found things after he died that led me to believe he was putting a plan like that into motion. That’s why I was going to divorce him; so that when the girls start carrying on about their wonderful dead father, I can’t sympathize very much, even though I’ve never told them what a terrible person he was, and I never will.)