I wrote this poem "Elegy In The Rain", i need comments.?

A

Asad J

New member
ELEGY IN THE RAIN

I walked so long on the streets
That they had learnt my name
Didnt have a place to run
Didnt have a face to blame

And i walked on crying and low
Thought i'd give up on life
When there seemed no place to go
I took refuge in your eyes

But that was just till
Your eyes started to cry

And i walk on the roads again
Seeing sandcastles become sand
And i walk on in the rain
Like the broken walk on broken land
I walk on in my pain

Your pictures all wet by now
Cant say if its the rain or my tears
Im trying to let it go somehow
But i still hear you whisper in my ears

And the more i cry out tonight
The more i see the clouds cry
Are the heavens hurt too at u going
Cuz overhead lies a bleeding sky

And the rain's not letting you dry

And i walk on the roads again
Seeing sandcastles become sand
And i walk on in the rain
Like the broken walk on broken land
I walk on in my pain

So when i shatter
When the rains clatter
Will i see you come back to life
Cuz the pains that evolve
Letting tears in rain dissolve
They just wont let me survive
Is it supposed to be
this hard to be alive?

And i walk on the roads again
Seeing sandcastles become sand
And i walk on in the rain
Like the broken walk on broken land
I walk on in my pain
I walk on in the rain
I walk on in my pain...
 
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