I wrote a poem. What do you think?

[Dylan]

The Title is "Fare The' Well"


There was a time, a place.
A place filled with life and death.
Black walls, white floors
and Blood on the doors.

Eating through,
devouring what was once there,
what was once alive.
That of which that was filled with life
is now slowly fading away.
Falling into the truth,
into the lies, into the misconception.
The deceased
still living within the minds
of the slowly departing,
dragging them down
to suffer the cold,
heartless fires of the stars above.

They do not know,
They do not have a clue.
They do not have what it takes to move on,
and see what is really going on.
To see that today is one day closer to death.
The eyes of the mourning
will fill the earth of their tears.
Causing a great flood
engulfing the world
and all the life it holds.

Here's to the end..
To the beginning.

__________
Don't jump the gun and say its bad just because its "depressing."
I wrote it because I'm deleting my Myspace profile soon and I would love to know your opinion on it.

 

[Mia28]

i like it it's not a really simple pattern, yet it flows well, there are some good rhymes and you've used some more complex language. and the concept of the poem is really good too, i really like it.