i was in an abussive relashionship and now im more scared then ever...?

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♥*Miss Beautiful♥*

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Heres my story....So i was in a relashionship with this sweet,humble guy that swore he loved me and to protect and take care of me ..I fell head over heals and married this man.After two months of marriage i started noticing he has very bad temper porblems and anger issues.then he argued for every little thing and strated to grab on my hand very tight and after a couple of more arguments he strated to push me,punch and grab on my neck,,Soon aftter i stared to fear him...this keep going for 2 Years .. Then finaly i moved to the USA and i had the chance to leave him..and i did and know my family (this took place in Dominican Republic) are having a very important event coming up in the summer and i am planning to go but my Ex husband is a neighbor to my family and i do not want to bump into him because i keep hearing rumors he is going to kill me
plz help i cant stop going somwere b-c of somone...
the police over there are not like the ones here...
 
First of all, good for you!
Most women just curl up and allow themselves to be abused, it's remarkable that you were strong enough to get out of this situation. You should be very proud of yourself.

Second of all, if this guy is right next door, and trying to kill you, I personally wouldn't go. Your family will probably understand if you just explain that your ex husband is their neighbor and wants to kill you.
There's no reason to get yourself killed.
 
It sounds as if your ex has severe psychological issues.

You do need to stop going to visit places in which you may bump into him, and it is best to not even reveal your present location.

You are feeling fearful for a reason. Trust your gut instincts.

Even in the USA, it is very difficult for the police to protect someone from an abusive former spouse or boyfriend.

In most cases the police can not act effectively until the ex has actually done something physically violent.

If you have another family member like an aunt or an uncle who lives far away from your ex, can you stay at their house? Can you ask your parents to meet you at their house to visit?

Make sure the ex does not learn of your visit and whereabouts.

The best thing you can do in spousal abuse cases is to protect yourself by avoiding the abuser completely.

People who have violent psychological issues do not think rationally and do not consider the ultimate consequence of their actions. There is evidence that such people often succeed in following through on death threats.

Here is an article discussing the issue of spouses who kill ex wives:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2005/dec/10/ukcrime.prisonsandprobation

Here are some resources regarding spousal abuse.

http://studentaffairs.depaul.edu/ucs/intimatepartnerviolence.htm

http://medicalcenter.osu.edu/patientcare/healthcare_services/womens_health/mentalhealth/violence/Pages/index.aspx
 
If you truly believe this man would kill you, then you should not go or not go alone without a male by your side to protect you.
There are no guarantees in this life that we won't get struck by a bus or die in another way but if it is preventable, then maybe if not much time has passed, you should stay away just this one time.
I take abuse very seriously as I have lived through it myself. I now have a 9mm gun, a concealed weapons permit, and an alarm system after my ex beat me up ONE time.
He was abusive before but had never beat me but when he did, it was over.
Sometimes you have to not go to certain places if you truly fear that this type of danger could happen to you. At least since you are out of that country, you don't have to look over your shoulders all the time the way I had to for at least a couple of years.
Be safe
 
The first thing you should know is a man that hits a woman is not a man he's a coward. I don't think you shouldn't go to this important event just because of him, you need to get self confidence and believe that he can no longer touch you not if you allow him to, if you go over there and you see him i am not telling you to go run and hide but don't allow yourself to be in a close proximity with him and if you have to make conversation keep it short and distant you want to make him know that you are not the same person anymore. Let him know that you are in control because most of the time when men hit women is because they want to feel superior but if he's a real psycho and you get a little scared or unsure make sure you have an escort or go with a group of 3 or 4 maybe 2 people when you go out especially at night because it's better to be safe than dead. I think you should watch the movie Enough it's great the story is kinda similar to yours. Remember take charge of your life don't let a man or anybody make you feel anything less than love and safety because every woman need to be loved and secured.
 
Take some self defense courses; learn how to stick up for yourself so you don't have to be scared.
 
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