Peter Ashton
New member
I dated this girl in college, for the first 2 years. we were very happy.. but since the beginning she always came to me.. she wanted to date me, and she was the first to say the word I love you. and she was the first one to bring up marriage plans.. that's when I started to freak out.. she was very nice to me, loves me sooo sooo much. always calling and when she's with me. her eyes were looking at me in a funny goofy way..when we first kissed she was very happy she couldn't stop talking about it.. she even told her mum,, isn't that crazy.. and she forced me to meet her family. she was so proud of me .but the dreams needed to stop, I didn't have enough money for marriage, and also I didn't thought of her as my future wife, I wanted to say something but she never give me a chance to say anything.. so i come up with a plan,, which is to make a fight with her and scare her away, one of the things I did.. while we were doing it.. I filmed it,(or she thought I did),, and threatens her I will show it to everyone, her father was and still very proud of her ,and she was very scared from the idea of this breaking her image to her father. so she got scared (as planned),, and of-course several other fights followed and I called her names and described every single thing that is ugly about her,, until.. she did left me (sadly).. woo ha.. I was happy now, or that at least what I thought,, few months later. bad things start to happen to me.. I failed in a class (i was the best in), i had a fight with my best friend ever, i broke my teeth (felt off a bike), I lost most of my money in an online business, I couldn't find a job after graduation (although im A+ graduate), my family hated me for little things i did wrong.. the world started to close around me,, and then it happened.. I saw her with her husband (a college professor), she was happy.. but that's just when it hits me, she looked at me and was very shy and embarrassed that I would say something in-front of her husband.. so I kept silence,,but I started to think of her everyday, every hour.. all the time, and I couldn't sleep sometimes at night cause i'll be thinking of her. i started to feel this pain in my chest, it didn't go away.. its been 3 years now, i feel so sad,, although i wish her all the best in her life. but i donno why I wish she was with me instead. maybe that look she gave me. i donno what is it.. but im very sad, depressed and have trouble making friends. i don't lough much anymore..
my brother told me to speak to someone. so here ya go.. that's my story. im really a nice guy and want to be happy. what to do?
i want to mention that i did love her like i never love anyone else before.. to the fact i saw my loved ones in her when i look and talk to her, i could see my brothers, my sister, my mum and my father. always felt she's and angel sent from god to help me through life, and when i think deeply about it. what i did, i think its not because i hated the fact of marriage or because i didn't want her tobe my wife. its because deep inside me, i know i couldn't make her happy. i wouldn't be able to provide for her. and i know she's going to be in a better life with someone else.
my brother told me to speak to someone. so here ya go.. that's my story. im really a nice guy and want to be happy. what to do?
i want to mention that i did love her like i never love anyone else before.. to the fact i saw my loved ones in her when i look and talk to her, i could see my brothers, my sister, my mum and my father. always felt she's and angel sent from god to help me through life, and when i think deeply about it. what i did, i think its not because i hated the fact of marriage or because i didn't want her tobe my wife. its because deep inside me, i know i couldn't make her happy. i wouldn't be able to provide for her. and i know she's going to be in a better life with someone else.