I think this fear is really holding me back...help?

T

TallGlass

New member
I'm currently 31, and I am thinking about going back to school for a certification program. I have a bachelor's degree already.

Now, this particular certification is quite good at this particular university in downtown manhattan, which i'm sure you're all familiar with.
The courses are about 6 and they run 6 - 9 at night.

The thing is, I'm really hesitant about even looking into going because I have a very big fear of walking/being alone at night and in manhattan. I have a very slight physical issue that prevents me from running and such. Truth is, I'm just scared as a result. I might not be physically able to fend someone off.


Even when I was in college, I chose day classes all the time. I'm trying to find schools that might be closer to home, but no luck. Plus, I am seeking an adult-level, post graaduate class, and they are all at night anyway.

Am I wrong to feel this way? I also want to go back to make more friends, meet more people, inquire about job prospects, etc, but i feel left back because of this fear. What do I do? Any adult class will be at night, right? I just hate the idea of being alone out there in the dark, by myself.
 
I think you are dealing with slight agoraphobia. I have the maybe? more severe form in that I don't want to leave my home at all and am anxious to be around others. I can't imagine having to walk around at night and not being able to run if need be. Is there any way you could have someone go with you or pick you up? I carry pepper spray on my key ring, not sure if that is legal in NY or not. It makes me feel better, for sure. I think you should look into whatever makes you feel more comfortable as you won't want to deal with anxiety daily and school. Good luck.
 
Hi CandP,

Do you have a spray can of mace? If not, get one and put it on your key chain. Carry it in your hand and be very aware of your surroundings. I have a 24 yr old daughter that often works late and is leaving Baltimore City to go home to a secluded, wooded entrance. She always has her mace ready to spray LOL

Also, when classes let out, walk out with a group of people. I'm sure you will not be the only one in the group worried about being attacked in Manhattan. Don't let this fear hold you back from what you want in life. If you have not signed up for those classes, you better do it soon as they always seem to fill up fast.;)

Best Wishes,

JB
 
CandP,

Are you wrong to feel this way? NO! It does not matter if you a valid reason for your fears or not, you feel the way you feel. The fact that you know and acknowledge it is great.

Now what can you do to prevent your fear from holding you back?

My university had a student organized safety team that I was able to call to escort me to my car when I worked late at night doing research. Check to see what resources your university has. (Columbia and St Johns have a safety escort service.) I also had a health crisis and my counselor at the university gave me great advice to help practically deal my issues within the support system of the school.

If nothing else, maybe you can find some one you can pay to escort you home or to your transportation. (Just figure it in with the cost of school.) Flyers are anonymous, so you can put up a flyer asking for some to accompany on the nights that you are there until 9. I am sure other students with late classes that could use an extra buck or two. Some students need a tutor get them through school, you need a walk home.

Just some pratical thoughts for you.

Tracy
 
Thanks for the advise. I wouldn't call it agoraphobia, as noted by the first poster. I have no problem being out and in crowds, and I don't fear strangers.

I think, due to my inability to run, I just feel weak as a result. I am not thinking something bad will happen; I'm thinking that, logically, it seems that it would just make me uncomfortable being in that area during that time.

I understand there might be a midtown building - which is an area I'm very familiar with, and has people around constantly, but the courses are not offered there.

Maybe going down there in person and getting a feel for it might help - but I have driven by the area on a bus all the time (during the day), but it's different during the day....don't know, maybe I should look at something closer to home. I've tried, but no such luck.
 
Back
Top