i rewortethe firt pargraph of this book I'm writing tell me your opion?

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mimi b

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I walked through Freeman High School on the first day of school with my
friends, Mary, Sandy, and Kikki. We were tenth-graders, so this was our
first year in high school.

We kept on walking to our first period - English with Mrs. Johson. She was a
little mean, and first gave the class papers to give to our parents. She
then asked everyone to go to the front one-by-one, and say their name and
something about themselves.
 
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