icycrissy27blue
New member
I am 25,will be 26 in July, am 5' 5" and weigh 120.I am skinny and my siblings have told me many times before that it is not normal to look like someone like Nicole Richie. My brother who is 14 told me that even the girls at his jr. high weigh more than I do and are not as skinny.I have not taken half of their comments seriously though.I still have a problem with my body and the way I see it:I see myself as someone who has all these imperfections,who needs to be a size 2 which I have been for the past 4 years + and who has to work out. I took this kinesiology class in college a couple of years ago while working on my Associate Degree with out realizing how what the teacher would tell me impact me and how I would take it to heart.After that class I started to be this health freak and I watched more what I ate.Since in our family high cholesterol,high blood pressure and diabetes occur I have decided to do something to prevent myself from having them by having an active life and eating less fats.As of now my portions are what my ex who is my best friend "kids' portions" because I do not eat that much anymore and worry about my weight all the time or on an every day daily basis.I have had some girls make comments about how I look like I was 4 months pregnant when I was jogging when I weighed 117 lbs which made me so self conscious.Afterwards whenever I ate out with my bf I would eat only half or 3/4 of the meal because I would force myself not to finish the whole meal. As I was tallking with my ex today he told me how I am so skinny and fragile and how when I am going to be old how I can break my bones very easily.That made me think of other comments he has made such as "Are you becoming anorexic?" last year in October or around that time.My sister and brother do not find it normal for me to obsess about calories and my weight.My ex who is a best friend of mine(we dated for almost 4 years before calling it quits) decided that he cannot be in a relationship with me because I had all these insecurities and no matter what him or my siblings would tell me I would not listen.For so long, for years I have deprived my body of everything to be honest,I think I need help because I do not want to get sick nor do I want something to happen to me. I think that trying to look good, be a size 2 and so forth finally took their toll but finally snapping out of it and actually listening to the words was hard.After lunch I was walking back to my place almost crying because now as I carry books I realize that they weigh a lot and then I realize how petite I am or how I cannot shop in the women's section so instead I have to buy petites and jeans from Express or the Jr. Department.I am not sure what to do but I really need to turn my life around before it gets out of hand for the worse!I wear some small work out clothes and they are too large on me which says a lot..My weight is going down and my obsession with calories continues.I fear that if I keep it this way I will be unhappy forever and most of all unhealthy.I need anyone's opinion who had the time to read this.Thank you.
I believed that when I had no control over my life or school that I had control over my weight which I did so then from a habit it became a permanent thing.As of now I have my family worried,friends and ex bf who is my best friend.Because of the lack not eating healthy my body gave up on me numerous times and I have been sick more than usual,I shiver a lot, my stomach hurts,I have lots of migranes and sometimes the body aches.I think that without the proper nutrition my body is starting to give up as it has done so for the past 2 semesters in school which has put me behind schedule when it came time for graduating.
I believed that when I had no control over my life or school that I had control over my weight which I did so then from a habit it became a permanent thing.As of now I have my family worried,friends and ex bf who is my best friend.Because of the lack not eating healthy my body gave up on me numerous times and I have been sick more than usual,I shiver a lot, my stomach hurts,I have lots of migranes and sometimes the body aches.I think that without the proper nutrition my body is starting to give up as it has done so for the past 2 semesters in school which has put me behind schedule when it came time for graduating.