Julian Garcia2
New member
I know there're a lot of good poems out there however...
Honest and painstaking critique
The first one I wrote in 7th grade and kept revising
And the last one is more recent...
BTW: Im going to 10th grade september...
Oh, Princess you turn that head of yours, as beautiful as a deity
Then you fill my heart with anxiety
Oh, how I long to be at your balcony
That I may profess my love to thee
Your majestic figure adorns no gown
Your royal face bears no crown
The way you smile is simply disarming
Your innocent lips have not yet found its Charming
Your clothes are worn and your francs are none
But all that will change when we become one
That’s what I’d say if I could see her once more
But all hope is lost- she’s closed the door
And so I tell you my dearest friend
That you cannot begin to comprehend
That my love for her is so much more…
Than any of the fleeting crushes of before
What is pain?
Can it even be described?
So petty that we could put it aside
Out of our minds?
Pain is only by grief surpassed
I keep telling myself, “It’s in the past”
This weight I carry
Does anyone understand me?
This burden I bear,
No one would expect it
I dispel my tears so no one will detect it
Pain- there’s that word again
Why can’t I ever feel joy instead?
This emotion I feel
It devours my soul
It makes me feel bitter, distant and cold
Pain, such an ugly thing
Better left to the dark corners of my mind
To collect dust and to be forgotten with time
Honest and painstaking critique
The first one I wrote in 7th grade and kept revising
And the last one is more recent...
BTW: Im going to 10th grade september...
Oh, Princess you turn that head of yours, as beautiful as a deity
Then you fill my heart with anxiety
Oh, how I long to be at your balcony
That I may profess my love to thee
Your majestic figure adorns no gown
Your royal face bears no crown
The way you smile is simply disarming
Your innocent lips have not yet found its Charming
Your clothes are worn and your francs are none
But all that will change when we become one
That’s what I’d say if I could see her once more
But all hope is lost- she’s closed the door
And so I tell you my dearest friend
That you cannot begin to comprehend
That my love for her is so much more…
Than any of the fleeting crushes of before
What is pain?
Can it even be described?
So petty that we could put it aside
Out of our minds?
Pain is only by grief surpassed
I keep telling myself, “It’s in the past”
This weight I carry
Does anyone understand me?
This burden I bear,
No one would expect it
I dispel my tears so no one will detect it
Pain- there’s that word again
Why can’t I ever feel joy instead?
This emotion I feel
It devours my soul
It makes me feel bitter, distant and cold
Pain, such an ugly thing
Better left to the dark corners of my mind
To collect dust and to be forgotten with time