I noticed I liked it a little too much...

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tucantu

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For the past week and a half, I have been rather into hydrocodone. I don't know why I started in the first place, but when I got relaxed and the effects reched their peak, I thought to myself: "Why can't I just feel like this all the time?" That was a mistake.

I have an addictive pesonality, and I tend to over do things that I like, and now I can't stop thinking of the drug. I've been stealing it, and I can see if I keep at it, I'll get into major trouble.

I've already decided to stop, but I keep getting these cravings... I only had a taste of what opiates have to offer, but that was enough to leave what I fear might be a permanent mark...
 
Hey tucantu

Nice to meet you and glad to see you posting. Welcome.

Looks like a major junction has been reached here and recognized. That is a good thing. You are wise man to recognize it.

It seems the place you are in is the place where we who have spent way too much of our time abusing drugs come to after withdrawing from them. Withdrawal is physical and mental torture, but it is only a piece of the whole plan we must make and enforce in order to conquer addiction and the behaviours that go along with it.

That "good" place we think we reach in opiates is, in reality, a hiding place from real life. Our reality becomes drug haze and will finally lead us to a horrible place of shame and guilt. What we must do after stopping the pills, is to discover why we wanted to hide in the first place. Then we must do lots and lots of work to retrain our brains to turn to healthier coping mechanisms to deal with the stresses in our life and any pain and hurt and grief that we have.

When we deal with Life on Life's terms, we are able to deal with the bad, and to thoroughly enjoy the good. Drugs steal that ability to enjoy the good, to participate and experience it all. So many of us have been there, in that false opiate world and it has brought us all nothing but pain and sorrow.

My suggestion would be to read lots and lots of pages on this board. Become fully aware of the evil in the drugs. Also, importantly, I would suggest that you connect immediately with a live, 3-D professional and start working on why this fake good feeling is being sought. Please, do these things and ward off active addiction. Be thankful to the Lord above for the smarts to recognize the problem before it blows up in your face.

With all hope
reach
 
I've felt this before. First it was alcohol and marijuana, then I tried an oxycodone, and I was hooked. I've never been full blown addicted, but I've got a good taste of the effects of opiates, and I loved it. It's a trick I know, so I didn't ever become habitual with it. I know about the torture of withdrawal, having experienced a bit of alcohol withdrawal, so I wouldn't even want to get all messed up on opiates and go through that.

Best thing to do for your cravings is the good ol coping skills. Do something else, try to to take your mind off of it by doing something else you enjoy, drink a cup of coffee, anything. Do not take it your experiences any further unless you want to become a slave to a substance.
 
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