H
holly74
Guest
I posted this a couple of hours ago in my old thread, but thought I should start a new one.
Hey guys! So I'm past the month mark, which is so awesome! It really did pass so quickly.
I'm struggling a little bit over the past few days, which is why I decided to post. I've mentioned before that the start of my pill problems was when I started having cluster headaches about five years ago. They are inexplicably painful (like a migraine on steroiRAB!) and last for days, sometimes weeks, at a time.
I knew that I would need to figure out how to handle this eventually, but I was disappointed when a new cluster started about four days ago. It's so soon! *ack* It just stinks. I've been using every trick in the book to try to handle it on my own, with no pain medication. I'm starting to weaken, though. As I'm sure many of you know, you start to feel a little crazy after too long with substantial pain. It's hard, too, because I feel like it's unrealistic to say that I would never take pain medication again, for the rest of my life. But I'm fighting so hard against the addiction side of me, and I feel suspicious - of myself! Of my intentions! I feel like, "Gosh, I'm working really hard at maintaining sobriety, I'm doing so well. There's nothing wrong with taking prescribed medicine when you NEED it." I guess I just feel like I always used to have an excuse. Is this just an excuse? It's so hard to know what to do!
Anybody? The one thing I've learned here more than anything else is that we all have so much more in common than we think. So I figure many of you have had to face these kinRAB of decisions. I guess I'm just looking to talk it out.
Thanks!
Holly
Hey guys! So I'm past the month mark, which is so awesome! It really did pass so quickly.
I'm struggling a little bit over the past few days, which is why I decided to post. I've mentioned before that the start of my pill problems was when I started having cluster headaches about five years ago. They are inexplicably painful (like a migraine on steroiRAB!) and last for days, sometimes weeks, at a time.
I knew that I would need to figure out how to handle this eventually, but I was disappointed when a new cluster started about four days ago. It's so soon! *ack* It just stinks. I've been using every trick in the book to try to handle it on my own, with no pain medication. I'm starting to weaken, though. As I'm sure many of you know, you start to feel a little crazy after too long with substantial pain. It's hard, too, because I feel like it's unrealistic to say that I would never take pain medication again, for the rest of my life. But I'm fighting so hard against the addiction side of me, and I feel suspicious - of myself! Of my intentions! I feel like, "Gosh, I'm working really hard at maintaining sobriety, I'm doing so well. There's nothing wrong with taking prescribed medicine when you NEED it." I guess I just feel like I always used to have an excuse. Is this just an excuse? It's so hard to know what to do!
Anybody? The one thing I've learned here more than anything else is that we all have so much more in common than we think. So I figure many of you have had to face these kinRAB of decisions. I guess I'm just looking to talk it out.
Thanks!
Holly