I need help, please!

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holly74

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I posted this a couple of hours ago in my old thread, but thought I should start a new one.

Hey guys! So I'm past the month mark, which is so awesome! It really did pass so quickly.

I'm struggling a little bit over the past few days, which is why I decided to post. I've mentioned before that the start of my pill problems was when I started having cluster headaches about five years ago. They are inexplicably painful (like a migraine on steroiRAB!) and last for days, sometimes weeks, at a time.

I knew that I would need to figure out how to handle this eventually, but I was disappointed when a new cluster started about four days ago. It's so soon! *ack* It just stinks. I've been using every trick in the book to try to handle it on my own, with no pain medication. I'm starting to weaken, though. As I'm sure many of you know, you start to feel a little crazy after too long with substantial pain. It's hard, too, because I feel like it's unrealistic to say that I would never take pain medication again, for the rest of my life. But I'm fighting so hard against the addiction side of me, and I feel suspicious - of myself! Of my intentions! I feel like, "Gosh, I'm working really hard at maintaining sobriety, I'm doing so well. There's nothing wrong with taking prescribed medicine when you NEED it." I guess I just feel like I always used to have an excuse. Is this just an excuse? It's so hard to know what to do!

Anybody? The one thing I've learned here more than anything else is that we all have so much more in common than we think. So I figure many of you have had to face these kinRAB of decisions. I guess I'm just looking to talk it out.

Thanks!

Holly
 
hi holly its a tough situation ,ok go have a long chat with you doctor about this ,i knew a guy that had insomnia an after 3 days with no sleep he would drink vodka i can only imagion what that must be like after three days . he finaley went to an md that found a med for his sleeping problem. an he has not had a drink in over 3 years. i would not recomend hydro . they do have meRAB for your type of head aches. keep hanging in there . an go see him or her .scott:)it seems living with those type of head aches is going to be near imposible :wave: some times i dont know what to say , but evan some addicts can some how take some meRAB responcbley. i dont ask why i have taken clonazapam. for ten years have yet to abuse them an the dose has pretty much stayed the same .low dose for anxiety hope this helps
 
Thanks, Scott! I did decide to fill my rx, but have yet to take one. I had a long talk with my husband about it and I think the best I can do right now is just try to be very honest and see how it goes. I take daily medication for the headaches and usually go three or four months without a cluster. I had hoped to have more sober time under my belt before I was in real pain again, but there's not much I can do now. My clusters are sometimes set off by stress and we're in the middle of closing on a home and packing and moving. I'm proud of myself for making it these past four or five days before turning to pain meRAB. And the truth is, it IS a reality I would have had to deal with sooner or later. I've read so many stories from people here saying that they're able to deal with their real medical neeRAB without having it be driven by addiction. That's what I'm going to try my hardest to do.

My plan for now is to give them to my husband. I'll probably have him leave me one pill. I've made it nearly five days now without taking anything so there's absolutely no reason for me to need more than one in a 24-hour period. It really is such a strange balancing act, though. As with any pain, it is much more difficult to manage the longer you let it go, you know? So the strict, recovering addict side of me says, "You have to wait as long as humanly possible to take something. Don't give in!" But that could very well result in the medicine not being effective at all! It's tough! But this is definitely one of those things that is simply a part of life. I have to find a way to treat this kind of thing responsibly.

Wish me luck! I hope you're doing well, too! I've been reading several of the threaRAB here today and it's so nice to see you offering your support and experience to so many other people.

Holly
 
hi holly i meant to post on you new thread. we are hear for you. i went back to your original post an saw that hydro was bad for you.i would not recomend that drug. read my other post on your old thread , an go see your doctor, for a diffrent med that is persribed for head aches. just do it :):p:wave:
 
Hello Holly,

Ask your doctor about Zomig. I had migraines SO bad that I couldn't get out of bed. Even in the dark, with an ice pack on my head and neck, I'd have tears in my eyes cause it was so painful.

Zomig is non-narcotic and is NOT addictive. It is commonly used for migraines and worked very well for me. Also, ask about gabapentin. I never tried it, but hear it also works well.

Good luck - I can relate to what you're going through - It's like a migraine on steroiRAB.

emsmom
 
Hey Holly,

How are you doing now honey? I hope the head pain has gotten MUCH better. These migaines on sterioRAB sound HORRIBLE. I can't imagine how bad they hurt.

I think you should really take Emsmom's advice and check it out with your Dr. At this point there has to be something out there to help that is non narcotic.

Give us an update and let us know how you are doing. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
hugs to you.
 
Why not deal with the core problem, the headaches,
pain-relief pills doesn't solve the problem.
 
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