Ok this story needs to be at least 450 words, have a trigger, be significant, describe feelings and events, suggest a theme or idea, include smell feel sound and see and use a variety of sentance lenght and structures and I need and ending. Any help appreciated.
As I at my lunch on the lake side an autumn leaf fell onto the lake, rippling its surface, just as it did so many years ago…
It was a perfect day. Not a cloud in the sky, it was a very warm autumn day, all the trees were shredding their leaves which blanketed the ground in colours of red, yellow and orange. I was with my two brothers, our mother had sent us to the lake with a picnic and told us to enjoy the warm weather while it lasted.
My brothers started playing tag I didn’t want to play as they were both at least five years my senior and faster, bigger and stronger than me. I walked around the lakes edge picking up pretty leaves and leaves that looked different from the rest. I sat and laid the leaves on a cliff, overhanging the lake. Then I turned to watch my brothers play tag, they were yelling and screaming, running and hiding all of a sudden my oldest brother Jason ran towards me! I turned around and ran, scared that they were going to bold me over. I started to run, but instead of running I fell into air.
I was falling. Then I felt as if someone was running hot nails into me. I looked up and saw my brothers looking down, with unforgettable panicked expressions on their face. My body numbed with shock couldn’t move. The cold water stung me as if it were hot. Everything was dark and silent. I was scared.
Frantically I kicked, scared that if I was to hit the ground it would swallow me whole. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe, and needles were stinging my lungs from the inside out. I couldn’t tell if I was crying but if I wasn’t under water I am sure I would be. I scream for my mum, dad and my two brothers and then I remember nothing.
I could hear people talking, I could hear my mum and my dad. I was shivering, crying, coughing, and sore, but most of all I was scared. I was wrapped in a silver blanket, sitting on the hard ground next to the lake. My mum was hugging me and my dad ran towards a man in a uniform who came towards me and asked my name
As I at my lunch on the lake side an autumn leaf fell onto the lake, rippling its surface, just as it did so many years ago…
It was a perfect day. Not a cloud in the sky, it was a very warm autumn day, all the trees were shredding their leaves which blanketed the ground in colours of red, yellow and orange. I was with my two brothers, our mother had sent us to the lake with a picnic and told us to enjoy the warm weather while it lasted.
My brothers started playing tag I didn’t want to play as they were both at least five years my senior and faster, bigger and stronger than me. I walked around the lakes edge picking up pretty leaves and leaves that looked different from the rest. I sat and laid the leaves on a cliff, overhanging the lake. Then I turned to watch my brothers play tag, they were yelling and screaming, running and hiding all of a sudden my oldest brother Jason ran towards me! I turned around and ran, scared that they were going to bold me over. I started to run, but instead of running I fell into air.
I was falling. Then I felt as if someone was running hot nails into me. I looked up and saw my brothers looking down, with unforgettable panicked expressions on their face. My body numbed with shock couldn’t move. The cold water stung me as if it were hot. Everything was dark and silent. I was scared.
Frantically I kicked, scared that if I was to hit the ground it would swallow me whole. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe, and needles were stinging my lungs from the inside out. I couldn’t tell if I was crying but if I wasn’t under water I am sure I would be. I scream for my mum, dad and my two brothers and then I remember nothing.
I could hear people talking, I could hear my mum and my dad. I was shivering, crying, coughing, and sore, but most of all I was scared. I was wrapped in a silver blanket, sitting on the hard ground next to the lake. My mum was hugging me and my dad ran towards a man in a uniform who came towards me and asked my name