...long!!!? ok i gave birth to my daughter 3 weeks ago now and have been feeling very insecure about my looks eg weight and also with my partner feeling unloved and things like that...it may be just me being silly or it may not im too confused at the mo thats why i need a males opinion on what im about to say.... ok so i was shopping and called my partner to see if he fancied a drink as wev not spent any time togetjher properly since the birth...he says no im not drinking anymore so i say ok fine then i get home. (my partner smokes cannibis regularly and is on the dole so sometimes asks me for money) when i get in he asks if i have any spare money so he can get some so i say no because i only had enough for things i needed eg nappies gas electricity so he says ok im goin to my friends for a drink so im like??????? and a little upset that he didnt want to when i asked. so i say theres no point in us being together we are more like friends and it is not a RSHIP SO HE GOES THEN COMES HOME EARLY HOURS PARALETIC DRUNK. i ignore him as hes askin me am i still in a mood coz i could tell things where about to kick off .hes not gettin a reaction so he carrys on an on calling me a fat ugly sl*g over and over calling me an unfit mother (hes not done a thing for our daughter since the 2nd day she was born) he carrys on verbally abusing me for about an hour.i was raped a few years back an he starts about that 1st its i loved it its my own fault then its im lying about it. he sits down eatin curry and still verbally abusing me gets annoyed coz im ignoring him so he spits a mouth full of curry an naan bread at me and i started to cry which made him more angry and he threw the fork and then the bowl of curry at me, he goes into the kitchen and gets the spray floor cleaner to wash the wall behind me so i move to another seat, he starts again then grabs me round the throat saying he will strangle me then chop me up an hide me... then he sprayed the floor cleaner all over my hair an face (he done this 3 times afterwards too) then im trying to ask him why hes treating me like this an that i love him an he throws a bottle of lucozade over me. hes screaming all sorts at me then he says fu****g answer me and slaps me across the face3 then kicks me with his timberland boots on, i tried to tell him why i wanted to split up (coz i was feeling unloved and like he wasnt interested in me and everytime id go to hug or kiss him hed move away an i was jus generally being insecure but iv felt really bad about it ) and he tells me its all my fault ??????? i asked what i did he comes out with all sorts of lies im so confused right now i dont know if i am doing something or not and with all the hormones from just giving birth i cant rerally think strait so im jus lookin for opinions on my situation.....id just like to add i know im not always the perfect girlfriend far from it and iv said my fare share of really nasty things to him also but iv never laid my hands on him,,,am i driving him 2 it, hes very controlling and tells me when i can take our baby out where he can whenever he wants if i go out most times im not allowed to take her..i love this man more than life itself at the beggining it was perfect will he change??? thanx for any opinions left xxx
funny thing is yogi he doesnt say sorry he blames me thats why im so confussed??? all good opinions theres nothing i want more than to leave him but somethings just holding me back i know if i stay its my own fault im just really confused right now...i think i need to seek help to get my mind right and my comfidence an self steem back and then maybe ill see i can live without him thanx for all ur opinions atleast they have helped me see its not my fault (which i already kinda knew) its just the constant telling of its my fault thanx again xxx
funny thing is yogi he doesnt say sorry he blames me thats why im so confussed??? all good opinions theres nothing i want more than to leave him but somethings just holding me back i know if i stay its my own fault im just really confused right now...i think i need to seek help to get my mind right and my comfidence an self steem back and then maybe ill see i can live without him thanx for all ur opinions atleast they have helped me see its not my fault (which i already kinda knew) its just the constant telling of its my fault thanx again xxx