I just wrote a song, what do you think? 10 points!?

[net_girl]

sorry, here's a little correction:

you always show me
your fancy style

(i added the "always")
you call me and ask me
if i've got something to do
you seem so interested
oh what's this i'm going through?

you put under a spell
when you speak
your words are magical
they make me weak
are you the true man
that i seek?
or is it just the charm
that you show me?

you get me presents
you have a dazzling smile
you show me
your fancy style
you make my fingers
want to dial
your number
and talk for a while

tell me how,
how do you do it?
tell me now ,
how do you do it?

you put under a spell
when you speak
your words are magical
they make me weak
are you the true man
that i seek?
or is it just the charm
that you show me?

(is it just the charm that you show me?)

boy you're so fine
my valentine
show me a sign
if you are truly mine

you put under a spell
when you speak
your words are magical
they make me weak
are you the true man
that i seek?
or is it just the charm
that you show me?

(is it just the charm that you show me?)

---------------
So i wrote this in about 15 minutes, and this is sorta a draft.
Tell me what you think and rate it out of 10 please
any advice/suggestions would help! thanks

 

[KapnKrunch!]

thanks for answering mine :] i relly like it! kinda long tho. but other than thats its good!