I just threw 116 days out the window

  • Thread starter Thread starter mindy1974
  • Start date Start date
Hello,
You did not lose all those days you had clean, they are yours you busted your butt to get them and you deserve to celebrate how far you have come!!! You have had a set back and its up to you to decide what it means. I personally see that it makes you stronger and now you have a huge reminder of how powerful this addiction can be. Use it to make your commitment to being clean even stronger. Go and do something really nice for yourself. Look in the mirror and say
 
Seek (if I may call you that, ha ha) -- I didn't realize your husband doesn't know. My ex-BF knew I took Percs for pain, but I don't know if he realized how many I was taking, or that I was completely dependent. I always felt like he knew....maybe because my personality had changed and I was so snippy....or maybe it was just my guilt.

My body is aching so bad....everything hurts and I'm stiff....and I have to clean by the weekend (for a specific reason)....I had so much energy on the oxy, cleaning closets and such....and remeraber I'm still on it, I can't imagine what I'll be like without it.
 
Hey Secrets, I just want to echo what other people have been writing. Relapses are quite common and it's what you do now that makes the difference. Don't be too hard on yourself but definitely take some inventory. "Why did I use?" "Am I still wanting to use?"

Relapses happen, I am a chronic relapser......just on a good streak right now. Meetings certainly help me. Its helps to know that I am not alone. These boarRAB are great but don't give me the actual good feeling I get from "seeing" other addicts recover and know that I too can do this.

Big hugz going out your way, take care

d
 
Derlinda,

Thank you so much!!! I never expected to get such positive replies. Thank you for saying what you did.. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I know I have had a lot of success over the last few months and I know I am not a terrible person...Just an addicted one. Thanks to all of your support I just may be able to forgive myself a little quicker. I will do what you suggested.

THank you so much! I hope you are doing okay!!!
XOOXOXOXO
 
Hey honey......how you feeling today. Please post when you get into work cause I've been worrying bout your head all night.
Just a thought.....You said you thought NA may be a good support for you but didnt want hubby to know so,can you get to a meet in your lunch hour? Or,do it straight after work? I dont know if any of thats possible or even if meets could fit in with your schedule.....I was just a wondering!
ME? Im slightly brighter today.....am off to drs this afternoon to get checked out as to why I fainted yesterday. Not trying to mess around too much with WRAB and all that today till I get a clean bill of health.
Post soon,my friend
love CC xoxoxox
 
Hey guys!

CC, I am ALIVE! No worries.. The aches and paines are getting better from the fall. It's mostly my neck and back and shoulders that are still hurting.... I will be fine though! I am so glad you are going to the Dr. today! You will have to let us know how you are doing when you get back. For me... my depression is just so bad again. I am constantly tired. Like I think I could literally sleep all my days away.... I am so sick and tired of feeling this way. I used to have so much energy while I was using but I know that is not an option... I just want to stop feeling so hopeless.. Anyone else feel like that.

Mk, Hey there! My husband knew I was taking the Oxy's because I had a ligitimate reason to use them... However, he didn't know that I LOVED my pills.. I always made a big ordeal of hating to take the pills and I couldn't wait till it was all over... I really didn't want anyone to know... So.. When I did my wean down program he was there to support me thru the wd but he didn't know about the cravings or mental anguish that I went thru and still do. I don't know.... I am very sorry you are so achey right now.. THAT SUCKS!! I hate wd feelings... they are the worst.. I wish that I could just snap my fingers and make it be done for you! I know how hard it is to try to get stuff done when that is occuring.. It's near impossible.. Good luck to you friend.. I will say some prayers that this gets a little easier on you!

XOXOXOOXOX
 
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