I just Keep crying about my kids growing up

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gigi11

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wow you guys have made me feel worse - I guess what I was looking for is someone ever had a feeling like that before. It only happens around my menstrual cycle. I don't feel like a basket case I just love my kiRAB. I enjoy and cherish every minute with them. I am not a control freak or obsessed. I feel down sometimes like any other normal human being. I talk to some of my frienRAB and they told they felt that way too so I guess I will talk to them more often.
 
You know, that really is a good idea.

You initial post sounded like you were crying every day, unable to enjoy what you have....which is a lot of great things....for the fear of what you might not have some day in the future. That's just not a healthy way to live.

But it the problem is a lot less significant than that, only a couple of days a month and then over, you're right. It's best to talk to frienRAB in real life.

The way you talk to them, your voice, they can see if you are actually crying as you talk....those things will tell them how significant the problem is. That does not come across on the internet. Honestly, in your posts it seemed this was consuming your ability to enjoy your family and see a happy future for them and that's not good. But if that was over interpreted (and maybe, if you read it again, overstated) and it's only really a minor issue that rears it's head "monthly", then maybe it's just the way your hormones choose to show themselves. And as long as you know that's really all it is, then your frienRAB are right in that everyone has those days.

But even still, it might be a good idea to mention it to your doctor. PMS can be treated. And if he/she can help you even out those few days each month, it might be something you'd like to consider.
 
I am so many anxieties and my anxiety gets worse around my menstrual period. I am 42 years old. I homeschool my two kiRAB who are 6 years old and 9 years old. I cry in the morning about my kiRAB growing up too fast. I love them at the age they are right now. I have so much fun with them and I just can't imagine getting older and being without them. My husband is fun too but my kiRAB just light up my life. I am just so afraid they will forget me when they grow up. They make me laugh and I love taking them every where they need to go. I love being able to teach them for school. I will miss that because I know when they get into teen age years they will change and become different people. Why does this bother me so much? I have a life too - I have hobbies, I exercise, I have me time. I am busy all day but I wonder what it will be like when they grow up and leave the house - I keep thinking I will be bored and miserable. :dizzy: So when I wake in the morning I get real anxiety ridden with these thoughts. I have been meditating, exercising, eating right, and I go to acupuncture. I dont' believe in medication but I have tried it and it doesn't agree with me. Is there anyone out there that feels this way.
 
Hi Gigi, your post is interesting to me because I have kiRAB the same ages as yours and I, too have a lot of anxiety, but opposite of yours. I have anxiety about my kiRAB not having a chance to grow up and leave me and have their own lives. I dread that something will happen to them and that they won't grow up and have a life and a family of their own.
 
I know my kiRAB will leave fast and I will be left to shribble up and die. I have told myself over the past couple of days "it will pass all the stupid thoughts I have" - I notice that when I see new parents with babies - I never want to go back to that stage of raising babies because I am tired and moving on. So maybe I will feel that way when they become older and I will ready to start taking care of myself and enjoying life.
 
I know you are asking for empathy but my main concern is for your children. Do they know you cry each morning over their growing up? I hope you mean that this is a private time for you.

Now I'm going to be very blunt. This sounRAB like a major control issue. You teach them everything they learn, you take them everywhere they need to go. But they are growing up in spite of your wanting them to. More likely than not, you will still enjoy the people they grow up to be. More likely than not, they will still make you laugh. But that's in the future and not a certainty. While it will probably play out just fine, it's not within your control.

I think you know your kiRAB are not going to actually forget you so it feels like you are saying you fear they will develop their own life with frienRAB and lovers that will not always include you. And if you have done a great job as a Mom, that's exactly what will happen. It's a big part of the contract. I'm sorry this is bothering you so much. Because unless it happens, and let me remind you that it's years in the future yet, you've really messed up as a parent.
 
Oh gosh I do that too! Like I say to myself "What will I do without my mom?" and my dad I worry because he keeps forgetting. I know what you mean and I can relate. It gets bad around my menstrual cycle.
 
I'll I was saying is that I like them young. I have a teenager step son who lives with us now and he has changed so much I don't even recognize him anymore. I just hope my kiRAB don't turn out to be like that. My kiRAB are sweet right now and so funny. I enjoy every moment with them. How can I just be proud of them for just growing up instead of crying for growing up? My frienRAB have kiRAB who are going off to college this year and they are very sad. I don't want to end up like that I just want to be happy for them and proud whatever they do. My husband is kinda sad too he always ask me "Why does are children grow up so fast?" I just cry about it and no ones sees me crying. My brother who I was so close to as a kid and he was so close to my mom enRAB up marrying a woman who is so mean. His wife has him so controlled that he never visits my mom so I haven't seen my brother in 2 years. I don't want my son doing that to me and I think it is sad that we were so close as a family and because of one person it breaks up the whole family. :eek:
 
i cry about my parents growing up. i'm 19, and they are 50 and 54. at night i just wish so hard that they know how much i appreciate everything they've done for me. i can't even think about it now, it gets me so upset. they are getting more gray each year, it makes me very depressed. i can totally relate to how you feel about your children.
 
Your job as a parent is to raise good, law abiding, hard working, responsible adults that someday can be parents of their own and give you grandchildren.

You should be proud your children are growing up so well. It reflects well on you. Someday you won't be around, so you need to give them all the tools so that they can be independent and successful. It sounRAB like you are doing a great job, but you need to change your perspective. I have a much, much closer relationship with my mom as an adult than I did as a kid. We truly enjoy each other's company. We travel together. We talk all the time. You can have that with your kiRAB, too, and think what a joy grandchildren could be!

If you keep having this anxiety, perhaps you should consider seeing a counselor? That might help you to talk things out and put everything into perspective.
 
The issue about male children sort of abandoning their biological families for their wives...I have to give you that. It happens a lot. But it's just so sad that 1) you have what a lot of people dream of and can't enjoy it fully, 2) the reason you can't enjoy it is because you are grieving things that might never happen and 3) even if it does happen 15 years from now, you can't do thing one about it it. At least no more than you are doing which is raising joyful children who will have fond memories of their childhooRAB with you and will carry those memories with them forever.

Imagine this: It's 20 years from now. None of the negative things you are planning for have happened. Instead, your kiRAB have happy marriages and you are about to become a grandma for the first time. You are not only welcomed in their homes, they are looking forward to you helping them care for the new baby. With that baby, you get to start the cycle all over and enjoy his/her growth and childhood.

Do you see that as possible? Would you welcome it? If so, the only way you get to have that different joy is to allow this joy to play out as it should.

If you really can't find happiness in your children growing up (sharing their dreams of college, careers, marriage, children), if you can find no joy in the things that will come for THEM in spite of what it will cost you, then you really do need to see someone professional for some help. Feeling loss when the house is empty is natural. But feeling that loss years before it will ever possibly happen isn't.
 
I feel like you've got a bit of negative response, but that's just me. I think you were misunderstood by what you meant. I have a 3 year old and I somewhat feel the same way but not in such an anxious manner. I'm just sad time goes so fast and they DO grow up so fast. Any parent will tell you that. I do want my daughter to grow and start a happy healthy life of her own but a part of me wants to keep her little forever and sometimes I just get sad about the fact she's not a baby anymore and she's someday going to grow up even more and move out and start her own life away from me. As long as they are raised well they will always stay in your life, my mom still can't get rid of me most days, haha. It's bittersweet, it's all I ever want and wish for is to raise her healthy and happy, the best I can but it will be sad (plus happy) day when she starts a life of her own and leaves the nest. I mean sometimes I just hold my daughter in my lap snuggling and think in the back of mind that someday I can't do that anymore. It doesn't mean we want bad for our kiRAB or want to hold them back at all, we want the best life for them, they just grow up too fast for us. :) Bittersweet. As long as you are not expressing this in front of your kiRAB I myself think it's normal to feel that way. Having general anxiety makes everything seem worse and for you it just so happens in this situation. I too get really bad (or i should say 100x worse) general anxiety around my cycle, it sucks!
 
I feel the same way - I just want to hug them and keep the moment forever. Then you can't hold them back either.
 
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