I have tell my daughter some really (potentially) devastating news?

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❧Kiss My Apples❧

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I've been putting it off for weeks, afraid she'll be angry with me and hate me for the rest of her life. I know this isnt really gonna happen, but I really fear it..
my dillema: I have to explain to her that the man who she calls dad, the man who has raised her, is not her bilogical dad, and her (sperm donor) dad all of a sudden decided he wanted to be a part of her life after 10 years. I never told her about him, but now I have to as he's threatening to drag me to court for rights.

Any suggestions as to how to bring this up? She's 11, if that helps.

Serious answers only please.
*note: her dad, yes her dad, the one who raised her, is behind me on this and will be there when i tell her.
*for those who asked and are wondering.. i didnt tell her because he disappeared. and I thought her knowing he was out there, but not wanting anything to with her, would hurt her. I did what I thought was right at the time.
 
you must be in a horrible situation.
i cant imagine how hard it is.
maybe ask her if she wants to go to your bedroom and play some bord games or something, and when you are say ive been wanting to talk to you about. please just dont be mad at me, try to understand. then lay it out as gentle as possible.
i really hope it goes well,
good luck!
 
Oh wow 11. Is young. I can't imagine having my mom break that news to me. I would suggest not telling her. But clearly you have to because of her biological dad. I really don't know how you tell some one that. But I suggest not making a big deal. Don't take her out to dinner or for ice cream. I suggest doing it in your house. So she can grieve how she likes. Best of luck.
 
This is why you don't keep secrets like this. My son knows his step dad is not his natural father. He knows he's his DAD though. He's the one who does all the DAD stuff. You'll just have to be honest with her. This will be a blow to her and she'll probably wonder why you never told her before. Have an answer ready for that too. She may have many questions. If he takes you to court it's VERY likely that he won't get much. Does he pay support because if he doesn't he has a LOT to make up for! Just be there for your daughter, lean on your husband for support and make sure you and he have the same answers because she'll probably have questions for both of you. It's time to have a united front. Back each other up. She may have tears. You just need to reassure her that even if your husband isn't her blood father he's always her daddy. It takes a far better man to be a daddy. ANYONE can be a father, any man anyway lol. But only your husband can be her daddy. Good luck to you, this is really hard.
 
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