I am a healthy 21 yr old female with an almost-5 yr old child. this disorder has been a constant ever since i lost my virginity at 14. My 1st kiss at 13 was arousing, and i fantasized for almost a yr about things going further than they did. Then, when sex entered the picture for real, i did not become aroused at all. My 3rd partner, who is the father of my child, failed not only to give me an orgasm but also to arouse me. Sex was about him...and i didn't notice any problem until years later. He was an insecure, jealous type that left me questioning my sanity. After all, he loved me.
After 2 yrs, i became pregnant and dumped him because i knew i couldn'tt deal with 2 children. I fell in love with hugo, a peruvian national that was 10 yrs my senior. i was 16.
i craved the contact of sex, wanted to be wanted very badly, but still no arousal...i knew what i was missing, cuz i was a chronic masturbator from an early age, pre-kindergarten.
after hugo was deported due to being an illegal, after 3 yrs together, I admit i became promiscuous. i ran from partner to partner, hoping that 1 of them would give me that magic feeling. i even indulged in drugs reputed to be "sex enhancers" to no avail. i learned with my daughter's father how to fake an orgasm, tho, and thanks to my mother's noisiness in the bedroom, i knew how it sounded. that became a problem too: the men had no idea something was wrong, for i performed like a porn star. the dead feeling in my groin when i had contact with them, oral, finger or penis, was utterly disappointing....the worst part was, i could still masturbate to orgasm, but the desire there too was lost. i could bring that wave of pleasure, but there was nolead upp, just a pleasant muscle spasm.
i don't know what to do to fix myself, i don't know why i am the way i am...but i know what im missing out on, and i want to be able to enjoy sex, not just the cuddling and tenderness, but the feeling of my partner giving me the supreme pleasure, of being able to legitimately give him MY pleasure. i sound selfish, but i just want to be normal. anyone that can help is welcome to answer this. i will appreciate the feedback.
And btw, i am 21 YEARS OLD. I have been dealing with this for 7 years. I want a normal sex life. If you hadnt orgasmed in 7 YEARS, wouldn't you be thinking there is something wrong?
I'm a single mother trying to get my life together. therapy is out of the question. Groceries, rent, and Christmas come before that. I can't afford anything like that. If you aren't going to answer me with anything helpful, please don't bother.
After 2 yrs, i became pregnant and dumped him because i knew i couldn'tt deal with 2 children. I fell in love with hugo, a peruvian national that was 10 yrs my senior. i was 16.
i craved the contact of sex, wanted to be wanted very badly, but still no arousal...i knew what i was missing, cuz i was a chronic masturbator from an early age, pre-kindergarten.
after hugo was deported due to being an illegal, after 3 yrs together, I admit i became promiscuous. i ran from partner to partner, hoping that 1 of them would give me that magic feeling. i even indulged in drugs reputed to be "sex enhancers" to no avail. i learned with my daughter's father how to fake an orgasm, tho, and thanks to my mother's noisiness in the bedroom, i knew how it sounded. that became a problem too: the men had no idea something was wrong, for i performed like a porn star. the dead feeling in my groin when i had contact with them, oral, finger or penis, was utterly disappointing....the worst part was, i could still masturbate to orgasm, but the desire there too was lost. i could bring that wave of pleasure, but there was nolead upp, just a pleasant muscle spasm.
i don't know what to do to fix myself, i don't know why i am the way i am...but i know what im missing out on, and i want to be able to enjoy sex, not just the cuddling and tenderness, but the feeling of my partner giving me the supreme pleasure, of being able to legitimately give him MY pleasure. i sound selfish, but i just want to be normal. anyone that can help is welcome to answer this. i will appreciate the feedback.
And btw, i am 21 YEARS OLD. I have been dealing with this for 7 years. I want a normal sex life. If you hadnt orgasmed in 7 YEARS, wouldn't you be thinking there is something wrong?
I'm a single mother trying to get my life together. therapy is out of the question. Groceries, rent, and Christmas come before that. I can't afford anything like that. If you aren't going to answer me with anything helpful, please don't bother.