I have a mental disorder and need some guidance?

[Heart]

Ok now I honestly need some help dealing with this, and I really really don't want any rants or judgement placed upon me I simply am just seeking help, or at least suggestions. I suffer from NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder) as well as a few other issues of mine. Basically at times I find myself always thinking about how I perceive myself, always trying to be perfect, always making sure my weight is the way I want it, always making sure I am happy with myself to an extent that isn't considered normal. I also find what normal human people would consider natural rather disgusting, such as dealing with sexual experiences, or even sometimes I cant even talk about certain things without wanting to run out of the room or feeling so awkward I want to cry. At first it didn't bother me, I just accepted it but the past few months its gotten worse. To the point where a love one of mine who I careful dearly has noticed. I hate it, and feel extremely shameful and would like to know if there is something I could do to at least cope with it or make it better.