Finley Blake
New member
confess to him? I hate myself and wish I was dead for what I have done. I have a very close family a wonderful husband and two wonderful children and I am very close to my parents. I did an unforgivable thing - twice. Once 5 years ago and once over a year ago. Twice I have become friends with males that I have worked with and during bad periods (or what I thought was bad but was actually just normal for a married couple) I have had two 2 -3 week affairs. My experience with men was limited, I had one boyfriend at 17 for 6yrs and then my next boyfriend was my husband. I have been to see a Minister, a physcologist and therapist as well as calling physcics. All have told me to forgive myself and have thought of possible ideas or causes for what I did. I dont care for excuses I just wish more than anything in the world that I could take back what I did. I am disgusted and ashamed, my parents would be horrified if they knew. My husband would be so deeply hurt, his family are beautiful people and I have also hurt them. My children who I love more than anything, I feel deserve a better mother than someone who did what I did. I have not been able to talk to any friends about this because I am too humiliated and I know that they too would be horrified at what I have done. My life revolves around my husband and children and I will never understand what I could have been thinking to put that at risk. I feel like I was a different person. I would do ANYTHING to take it back but as I can't do that I need help. Should I tell my husband and hurt him like that? I just want to try and turn a terrible wrong into something a little right and if telling him is that then I will. Despite what many of you must be thinking I do trully love my husband, very very much.In every other aspect of my life i am a person who always trys to do the right thing, by everyone. I am caring and loving and normally have very high morals. I know I dont deserve sympathy and I am not seeking that, but I am hoping someone can please help me?